𐌕𐋄𐌕 𐌔𐌉𐌂𐌊𐌅𐌉𐌂𐌔

Huening Kai - depression

Huening Kai's pov

My mood changes more than I can fucking count. One day I'm happy, then next I can be sad or annoyed. I don't mean to be so inconsistent with my feelings or emotional problems. The worst part is that my members always find out about my feelings. Now, I'm depressed for no reason. I'm not stressed or something like that, just depressed and dull.

I always try never to get upset or angry at my members, even on bad days. Since I'm the maknae, they drive me crazy with how caring and protective they are, although not always. Most of the time we are just weird and insane. We somehow enjoy it and have fun being weird. Unfortunately, you can't always stay happy forever...

We were at an interview and I tried really hard to hid my depression. I don't think the interviewer or the camera crew noticed, but Taehyun seemed to figure it out. I definitely didn't laugh as much as the others but I tried. To be honest, some of the conversations were actually funny. Once we were done, I swear I wanted to just fall asleep and be dead. I was joking of course. 

"Nice job guys. We are very good at humiliating ourselves in interviews," Soobin said while laughing and every laughed but me. I just smiled and stared blankly at the wooden floor. Taehyun walked over to me and stood beside me and crossed his arms.

"Are you okay?" he asked me in a loose tone. I simply nodded my head and grinned to myself. He patted my shoulder and left me while walking upstairs with Beomgyu. Me, Soobin, and Yeonjun were the only ones left downstairs. Yeonjun and Soobin started having conversations while laughing and I was the only one who didn't do nor say anything. 

I walked away from them and went upstairs to my bedroom and flopped myself on the soft cold bed. I sighed and glared at the clear glass window. The sun was nice and warm on my face and the weather was beautiful out. I kinda felt like going out and just walking alone. 

Soon enough, Taehyun popped in my room and walked over to me. He laid down on the bed with me and I knew that he noticed my mood changing. Why else would he be in my room on my bed.

"Why are you so down today, Kai?" he questioned me and I shrugged my shoulders weakly. I really didn't have anything to say if I'm going to be honest. I don't even know why I'm feeling so down today.

"I don't really know. My moods won't stop changing," I sadly replied to him. He tilted his head and sat up. I sat up too and I played with the bed covers while staring off into space. 

"Why didn't you tell us?" Taehyun said to me in a concerned voice. I sighed heavy and glanced at him.

"Because there's nothing you guys can do to help," I said truthfully and Taehyun felt sorry for me. He gently hugged me and I felt like crying but I tried to keep it in. Soobin came in my room and was quite confused on what we were doing. 

"You still should have told us. We could maybe had some ideas to help you," he explained and I simply nodded my head. I couldn't help but to cry in my hands. Taehyun soon found out that Soobin was in my room and he flicked his head and made him leave. Soobin then left the room while shutting the door and Taehyun tried to help me stop crying.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault," I whined and Taehyun shook his head and pulled away from the hug.

"No, it's not your fault," he announced and while wiping my tear away. I didn't have anything else to say but I was thankful for Taehyun to help me with my emotional issues. 

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hope you enjoyed reading this part!

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