The life of Beefcake

The awful day

Her eyes opened as the blind morning sun shone through her curtains. She rolled out of her bed and lay on the floor for exactly five minutes, helps wake you up apparently. Beefcake had gone to bed at 4am, she prepares to go to school to make it everyone else's problem. She got her ugly uniform on and polished her shoes. She hissed at her younger brother for standing in her way.

After about an hour of being in the house. She left to meet her friend Alissa. They usually met at a nearby roundabout near their house. They agree to meet at eight. But Alissa is always late, this infuriated Beefcake! When Alissa eventually got there with her younger brother. Beefcake reminded her about how slow she walks. Because it's not like she knew already. They had a chat about all the homework Alissa never did on the way to school.

When they got there she was asked to put on some hand sanitizer. So she did. But whilst nobody was looking she licked it off.
"Eww Beefcake that is so gross" Alissa said. This made her question their 11 year friendship. Beefcake was angry at Alissa for saying this so didn't hold the door open for her. In her head she sang- I'm a savage yeah classy Boujee ratchet!

They went to tutor. In tutor there was a new seating plan. She sat next to a girl called Ella who was very nice. But as always Beefcake had a problem so she farted on Ella's stuff.
"Why did you do that" Ella asked. Wiping her bag down.
"Don't act like you never knew it would happen" beefcake said whilst giving her a dirty look. This made Ella cry and run out. Beefcake felt powerful so decided to insult the chav next to her.
"Your eyebrows are like the slugs in my nans garden" she said whilst turning to her.
"Eee who do yer think ye talkin to girl like look at the state of ye you bare uggers" the chav snapped. This humbled beefcake so she didn't do it again.

In English she sat next to a boy called Tim. Beefcake had a huge crush on Tim. And she wouldn't let anyone get between them.
"You stink" Tim said whilst picking his nose.
Beefcake looked him dead in the eyes.
"Thank you Tim".
She leaned in and was about to kiss him.
"Eww! What the hell!" Tim yelled, the whole class turned to look.
After finding out what had happened everyone laughed at poor little beefcake. They had awoken the beast. She jumped on the table and stood like a werewolf as she howled at her classmates.
"Oh my god Paige calm down and get yo fat ass off that table" Alissa shouted.
Before getting down she twerked like she had never twerked before.
"What on earth are you doin young lady" said the teacher.
"Nothing miss" she said whilst climbing down immediately.
Tim looked at her and said...
"Beefcake I have a girlfriend you musty dusty son of a bitch" Tim whispered into her ear.
Chanelle walked over, "that's right IM his girlfriend now beefcake".
This made her angry so she got back on to the table. "MY EX MAN BROUGHT HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND-" she sang.
Alissa ran over and drop kicked her to the ground.
"STOP QUOTING GOD DAMN TAYLOR SWIFT" she said whilst punching her.
"Gosh ok Alissa" beefcake said. They both made their way to next lesson.

Whilst walking down the corridor beefcake realized she needed a poo. She turned to her friend Carly and said "Carly I need a shit".
"Well what do you want me to do about that" she said whilst flicking through her planner.
That's when it happened.
Beefcake had let out a gigantic fart that made the whole hallway rumble.
"Eee who did tha" one of the roadmen boys said.
Everyone turned to look at beefcake.
"Beefcake that was defo you" said the chav from earlier. She giggled with her little besties.
"N-no it wasn't!" Beefcake stuttered.
"Well then why are you stuttering, who are you? The boy who sits at the back in English?" She said rolling her eyes.
"A-a-y w-why y-y-you at-attacking m-man like that" the boy who sat in the back argued.
One of the history teachers walked down the corridor. "What is this, Auschwitz, it's like a gas chamber up in here" she said holding her nose.
Beefcake was embarrassed so she had shit herself, just like yesterday.

"It's not been a good day for you has it beefcake?" Sharron, her friend, said whilst trying to make her feel better.
"Does it look like it Sharron?" Beefcake said whilst rolling her eyes.