My Perspective

(African) Parents Obsession Over Conventional Careers

Dedicated to essiechoi

If you have lived in a typical African household you would probably understand where I'm coming from.

African parents have a LOT in common,it is as if they grew up together,went to the same school and were taught the exact same thing. What they believe, is that their children are young and inexperienced to make important decisions for themselves,though they are not totally wrong,it can be overwhelming when parents make decisions for their children especially when it comes to choosing careers paths.

They have a particular pattern for choosing careers,which includes;
Medicine for science students
Core Engineering for technical students
Accounting and banking for commercial students
Law and international relations for art students.

  But we can't really blame them  for imposing these careers on their children because before now let's say in the 70's,80's and 90's people from the jobs listed above were constantly in the top earners of the society and that's the era many of our parents grew up in,but now with many discoveries and exposure, there are more careers and courses that earn a lot of money,yet many of our parents are still stuck in that old way of thinking "medicine or nothing"

In 2012,there was a passionate discussion by members of Nigeria's number one online forum,Naira land about how African parents impose courses on their kids. They went around asking different parents why they want their kids to study medicine and become a doctor. Here is a summary of their reasons;

-They want to be hailed as "iya dokita" (mother of a doctor), "baba lawyer" (father of a lawyer) and they want to have a good name in the society,because those careers are highly respected.

-They want to fulfill their own dreams, during the survey a man said he wanted to become a doctor but circumstances couldn't let him, so now he is imposing his unfulfilled dream on his child.

-They want their children to take over their family business. In a family where they run an engineering company,they would want their child to study engineering so that the business would be in existence when the parents are no more.

-Some parents would say "there's no medical doctor in our family that's why we want our child to be the first",therefore, they wrongly coarse their child to pursue that career.

-Most parents think courses like medicine, law and engineering would give their children higher chances of success in their lives,so they are basically securing their future by forcing them to choose that career path.

  The most common reasons were the second and last one. Parents are humans they make mistakes too, but they don't want their children to repeat it,so they try to put them on the safest path in becoming successful. They make decisions according to society standards, since society  made medicine, law and engineering one of the most highest paying jobs, of  course,it's natural for parents to want what the world has accepted to the  best for their children.

The greatest mistake parents make is refusing to ask what their child really wants. When making a career choice,parents should not dictate,but this is what most of them do. A child would say "I love drawing,so I want to become an artist",but the parents would say "impossible!, you must become a lawyer, just like your father,how can you ruin your life  and the family names by choosing such a petty career". That child might feel intimidated and reluctantly agree,thereby studying what he doesn't like due to parental pressure, tell me if that child fails tests,exams and is also unhappy, is it his fault?.
His parents don't know he will succeed better at what he loves doing what not he is forced

Choosing the right career is a strong determinant on how fulfilled and successful a child turns out in life. Parents have to ask the question " does my child have interest in what I want  him to do". When parents insists on their children going into certain careers,they are trying to massage their ego and fulfill their shortcomings through their children,but what they don't know is that it's never too late to chase your dream even if you are a parent.

Encouraging a child to pursue their career paths based on their passion and talent should be done by parents, because passion drives interest and interests drives happiness and when one is happy in one's career,he would do his best and have job satisfaction which would lead to success and even fame, so if parents want their children to be successful and happy in life,this is what they should do.

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Medicine, medicine, medicine, if someone tells mention one more time, I can  nearly slap the person's face 😥,tell me, is that the only course on earth, I'm tired of hearing it being recommended by almost everyone.

Sometimes I even wonder if parents want to be known as the parent of a doctor or a parent of a happy child. They want us to be successful but becoming a doctor,engineer or lawyer is not the only way to success, if only they knew.....

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