Butterflies 🦋 chansung

Beggining of a

"It's important."

...

"You matter to me, Jisung." Chan spoke.

"Not just to me."

So he says.

Ah, it's so annoying. of course.

"I'm sorry, Channie-hyung, If My actions have caused you....uhm."

"It's not your fault. You have done nothing bad-"

"really." I continued.

...

"I know you're kind and all."

"It's just that I think I like you."

Chan stared at me, seemingly dumbstruck.

"That's just really it." It felt good to just say it, not thinking at all, but just say it outright. I smiled again, fondly this time.

"I'm trying my best to ignore it, really. So you can just ignore it too."

"Don't worry about it-" Seeing how Chan stopped in his tracks. At least I told him the reason our friendship will never be changed forever. Either I'm out or in because I can't stand how my heart swells for him.

"I really don't want to get my hopes up, everytime I received kindness from you."

He licked his lips and avoided my eyes as he listened. I hope you hear everything I will say.

"My chest tightens whenever you hold out your hands to me." I told him.

"My heart beats so fast whenever I see you peacefully leaning on that window beside in the classroom."

"It wells up everytime, it flutters, it's like i'm being taken more and more, my stomach, all tied in knots whenever you take a glimpse in my direction and smiles."

I sighed.

"Channie at least, I should make this a proper confession now yeah? Now that I said it."

I scratched the back of my head and smiled.

"I'm sorry that like you."

....

"I didn't know I like boys until you."

"I feel like throwing myself to you, back to that drunken night last summer tour when you held me tight and kissed me. I knew it's you. I'm sorry I pretended that i didn't remember it because i really liked it. I liked how my first kiss was given to you."

"You don't- You have no obligation to like me back and I'm not asking you either, i would like to, I just wanna let you know.

That's why I'm kind of weird lately."

"So before you say, anything.-" I panicked. I just said it.

"so-uh." I couldn't find the words.

"I-I think you knew that i loke you, since you're so eager to ran away after the kiss. I-"

"Before I decided to avoid you, I decided I should reject you, so rejection wouldn't even happen to me, if I do it first."