READ MY MIND

5

it's a funny thing,
knowing you're being deceived,
and letting it happen anyway.
it takes a great deal
of mental back flips to
ignore the flags like they're
camouflage
instead of glaring red.
my arms are getting tired,
i should let them go;
but i love them.
i don't want to.
they mean a lot to me.
they mean a lot to me,
but i don't mean much to them.
empathy expended
on someone
who did not deserve my kindness.
if i had believed hard enough
maybe they
would've loved me back.
maybe they
wouldn't have been so cruel.
a field of red flags
and three times taken later,
here i lay,
in a grave of my own digging;
and i still don't even know
how i got here.
when will i stop
wanting to let them back in?