READ MY MIND

8

i don't remember
if i've ever
truly felt at home
anywhere i've been.
it's a strange existence,
to feel alienated no matter where i go.
even in the house where i live
i don't
feel at home.
i want so desperately to go home,
but where is home?
and how do i get there?
how will i know when i find it?
i could look,
but i don't even know what
i'm looking for.
it's like a needle in a haystack,
but the needle
is invisible.
or maybe it's not even there at all.
what am i even looking for,
if nothing at all?
nothing has come to fruition,
maybe it was all just a red herring.
i don't know where i belong,
i don't know if i'll ever
feel like i belong.
maybe i don't belong at all.
maybe belonging is all some big lie
we tell ourselves
to feel less alone.
but i can’t stop hoping,
maybe there is somewhere for me.