Invisible String (Reid/Alvez)

Call It What You Want

As soon as Luke found out Calvin Shaw was helping Spencer in prison, he made a visit to Shaw. He talks about Shaw's wife, son, and the woman he murdered. He threatens Shaw, and Shaw agrees to protect Spencer.

When Spencer speaks to his lawyer, he learns that he can't get into protective custody. Fiona was able to move his trial up, though. She mentions that Luke had been by the prison, and Spencer was really hurt that Luke didn't visit. The next day when JJ came to visit, he was disappointed. As much as Spencer wanted to see JJ, he had hoped to see Luke. He knew Luke wouldn't be coming until the sixth week, but it didn't make him stop hoping he'd come sooner. Spencer convinced himself that they would get a case when Luke was supposed to visit and that he wouldn't come. 

"Why didn't Luke come to see me when he was here?" Spencer asked.

"I have no idea. I didn't know Alvez was here." JJ answered. She could tell Spencer was hurt.

The next morning, Spencer wrote to Luke. 

Alvez,

You were here and you didn't see me. Why? Please come next week. If you have to go away, stay behind. Please. 

Reid. 

Spencer couldn't wait for the next week. He kept trying to convince himself that Luke wouldn't come. He was so afraid of being disappointment. 

The following week, Spencer held his breath as he walked into the visitors' room. 

He's here. 

Spencer rushed to sit across from Luke, and his eyes filled with tears. 

"You came." Spencer whispered.

"I'm here." Luke nodded. He leaned forward a bit.

"I miss you so much."

"I miss you, too. How are you?"

"I'm not okay, Luke. I can't do this." 

"You're strong, Spencer. You can. We're gonna get you out of here."

"What if you can't?"

"Don't think like that."

"Luke..." Spencer blinked back tears.

"We're gonna get you out. I know we will."

"How's the case?"

"It's fine, there's really nothing more to tell you."

"How are you?"

"...I'm okay. This is hard."

"Luke..." Spencer started.

"What?"

"We...I... I think we should put what was happening before this on hold."

It was cryptic, but Luke knew he meant their relationship.

"It is on hold, Spencer, you're in prison."

"I mean... we can't talk about it. We should just forget about it for now. If you can't get me out... you know? Just worry about work."

"Spencer, putting things on hold isn't going to stop me from worrying."

"I know, but- can we just cancel everything? We can talk and figure it if I get out of here, but I can't hope for things to work out with that if I don't know if I can even get out of here."

 Spencer was almost crying, so Luke didn't argue.

"I understand what you're saying. We can do that. Do you still want me to write? And visit?" Luke asked.

"Yes, please. Writing to you about eugenics was the most normal experience I've had in here."

"I was hoping you'd say that. That's why I asked." Luke smiled.

"Two minutes!" A guard called out.

Spencer's choked back tears.

"Please, just be careful, Spencer. We'll keep doing everything we can. We'll get you out." Luke whispered.

"I don't want you to leave." Spencer let a few tears fall, and wiped them away. 

"You're gonna be okay. I'll keep writing to you. I'll ask you all sorts of questions about eugenics and the books you bought me. I've been trying to read. It reminds me of you."

"Thank you."

"Time's up!" The guard called.

Spencer gasped, and took a deep breath. He couldn't cry now.

"You can do this, Spencer." Luke said.

Spencer took a deep breath, nodded, and walked back. 

Luke kept his composure for the rest of the day. He went back to work after visiting Spencer and helped with the case. But, as soon as he got home, he broke.

Roxy was waiting at the door, and as soon as Luke walked in, he burst into tears. He sunk down at his front door, and Roxy climbed on him to comfort him. He stayed there for what felt like hours, crying and holding his dog. As soon as his mind began to clear, he fed Roxy and took her for a walk. 

He didn't eat dinner, and got into the shower. Showering was the worst part of his day since Spencer had been arrested. Luke used to relax in the shower. He'd use it as his time to think, and sometimes touch himself. But lately, he used his shower time to sob. By the time he actually got to cleaning himself, the water was cold and his mind was numb. 

As weird as it sounded, Luke hadn't had any sex drive since Spencer went to jail. They hadn't had sex before, but his sorrow took away any arousal he had. 

The next day, Luke felt empty. He ate in the morning, but all he felt was loss. He didn't want to be broken up with by Spencer, but it had happened. Luke understood why, but he wished they could've just not talked about it. He knew Spencer wouldn't be with him if he didn't get out of jail. As selfish as it was, Luke worried that Spencer wouldn't want to be with him when he got out, either.  

As Luke sulked at his desk, he wrote to Spencer once again.

Reid, 

Yesterday was hard. It was hard to see you like that, and it was hard to have that conversation with you. This isn't how I want things to be. I understand. I'm not angry with you. It's great that Fiona was able to move your trial up. I'm sorry I won't be able to visit again soon. Be safe. 

Alvez 

Luke had no contact with Spencer for a while. He had heard that Shaw didn't stick to their deal, and he couldn't wait to transfer him. 

Spencer's mother was abducted by Lindsey Vaughn and Cat Adams, and Spencer was finally being released. While JJ went to get Spencer, Luke took his time to visit Shaw.

"Hold up, you're transferring me? To Michigan?" Shaw asked.

"You won't get to see your son every week. And, rumor has it, some of the Bradford family's holed up in there. You know, the Russian family that you double crossed to begin with. And my understanding is that they are...excited, to see you. You don't think they hold grudges, do you?" 

Luke couldn't help but smirk. Shaw was gonna pay for what happened to Spencer. 

Luke went back outside to wait with Garcia, and as soon as he saw Spencer, it was like he could finally breathe again. Spencer hugged Garcia, and walked with her. Luke knew they couldn't talk to each other yet. They couldn't risk someone witnessing the tears and the heartache.