Crazy 'bout you ( GxG)

Chapter 18 - Charlie

I can't do this. On the edge of a panic attack I reach the kitchen. I lean on the counter taking some deep breaths.

"Charlie." I hear mom behind me, in less than 5 seconds her hands are on my back. "You don't have to tell her."

"I do." I say gasping for air.

"No you don't, you're not ready, Char." She lets go off me so she can grab me a glass of water. Tears are forming in my eyes. "You haven't even told Keith yet."

"I know, but he wouldn't get it, why I don't talk to dad anymore, he would say that I made it up, that I was just a kid." I look at mom. "Just what dad told the judge."

Mom shakes her head. "Keith wouldn't, he's your twin brother for a reason Charlie." Mom holds out the glass to me. "He would understand."

A single tear rolls down my cheek. "But he loves dad too much, he hates it that I don't speak dad anymore, he hates me for it. He would choose dad instead of me."

"Charlie."

"It's true." I wipe my eyes and breath in and out. "I'm telling her, she's helping me mom."

"I know." She caresses my cheek. "I see it, she's been some kind of medicine for you, something you could rely on." Mom stares into my eyes. "But you still don't need to tell."

"She told me everything about herself mom, her life isn't easy either, I can't..." Embarrassed I turn my head away. Shit.

"What?"

I shake my head, fuck it. "I can't lose her, I love her." Mom stops rubbing my back, so I look at her. "What?"

She smiles at me. "She really is someone else." Mom kisses my head. "Don't let her go." When she pulls back the doorbell rings. She's here.

"I'll get it and then I'll leave you alone." I nod and see how she walks away. I'm so fucking nervous, I'm scared that she will hate me or that she will despise me.

So when I hear the front door close I turn around. Jay doesn't look at me yet, so I walk up to her. She looks as beautiful as ever. "Hey."

She looks straight at me, a smile forming on her face. "Hey." She walks up to me, knowing no one is home I bend my head to hers and kiss her. I find some kind of peace in the kiss and my quick heart rate slows down.

"Follow me." I take her hand in my and pull her up the stairs with me.

"Where are we going?" I don't say anything I just open a door that was always closed and pull her in behind me.

"Just wait." I let go of her hand and move to the desk. My heartbeat races again. With shaking hands, I pull out the file and throw it on the desk. I just can't open it, knowing exactly what's lying under there.

"Charlie, you don't have to." I look up at Jay and when I see her eyes, I'm sure. "It's okay."

I grab the file and open it, I close my eyes before I can see the headlines. "Take it." I hold the file out to her. "Jay, please."

"Are you sure."

"Take it." When I feel her hands slide over mine I open my eyes again. She takes the papers out of the file and studies them. I bite on my thumbnail, pacing back and forth.

She frowns. "I don't understand, did you know her?" She looks at me. "The girl who got..."

I let out a frustrated groan, damn it. "That girl that's all over the newspapers who..." Fuck I can't even say it.

Jay looks at me. "Got raped." She says quietly.

"That girl...." I can't even look at her. I turn my back to her and pinch the bridge of my nose.