Crazy 'bout you ( GxG)

Chapter 28 - Jay

Never did I thought that my life would turn out like this. More broken than I already am. I've never dealt with so much pain in my life. It's as if somebody ripped my heart out of my chest, poured some alcohol over the wound, shattered my heart in thousand pieces and burned the leftovers.

When I came home crying and slammed my bedroom door shut, my dad heard that of course. So he came in and saw me heart broken on my bed, clenching a pillow against my chest. He knew right away that she broke my heart.

He didn't leave my side that night. He just stayed with me until I felt assleep and when I finally did I was tormented with dreams about her. I've never fallen in love before, not ever did I feel as great when I was with her.

But she broke my heart, she betrayed me. She lied to me. I don't know what to believe anymore. If anything was real, if she just manipulated me. If she only used me for my body.

Was it even true, did she even mean it when she said that she loved me. Did she even love me? Did she even had feelings for me?

I had to block her when she kept texting me, I just couldn't. My head and heart are fighting with each other. My heart is telling me to listen to her, it tells me that I need her but my head tells me to think about myself. To fight for myself for one time in my life.

But I was truly happy when I was with her. I told myself that I could be happy with her. Was that just an illusion. Wasn't it all an illusion, did I cover up the bad parts of our relationship? Was our relationship even healthy?

It doesn't matter anymore. It's over. It's done and now I just have to get through this heart break. Jake is there for me, but I also knows he's there for her, he's her best friend. So I sought comfort by his girlfriend, who I'm now close with.

It all fucking happened when I first got to school again and I wend to practice. I just couldn't. After convincing myself that I could I did it. But everything came flushing back when I stood on the field. I remembered everything about Charlie and I.

The late night practices with just the two of us, how we ran through the sprinklers, how we kissed under the stars, made out in the locker rooms, how we got steamy under the shower. How we trained together.

So I couldn't take it anymore. I threw the ball so hard that I ripped the back of the practice net and when I released the ball I screamed. Making everyone look at me, but I didn't care. It felt like I was having a heart attack.

I was on my hands and knees, tears dripping down on the sand. I broke down. Nobody knew what to do. Jake wanted to help me, but then there was Amelia. She told coach to call everyone towards him so she and I could be alone.

She sat down next to me. "It's going to be okay." Those words were enough. I fell in her arms and she let me cry. She told me that she know that it hurts, that it's okay to cry to let all my emotions out. That I was strong.

When I calmed down we just sat there for a while and we talked. I didn't wanted anyone to see me so I sat with my back towards the boys.

Amelia told me that before she met Jake, she had with a toxic boy who used her and although she knew he was bad, she still was in love with him. He cheated on her and made her believe her that it was all her fault. It was until she met Jake that she knew everything he told her was a lie and that she understood what love was.

Love comes and goes and it can be your greatest friend or your worst enemy. But you should never give up. Even if everything felt so good and the heart break is hard, there is someone who will be there for you. That soothed me.

Still I feel like fucking shit, the only one I want is Charlie and I know she wants me too. She stills loves me and even though I don't want to admit it. I will always love her. But I just can't.