Make a Memory

9.

A couple of weeks later, and Meredith comes home from the hospital, having had a rough time with her mother. She pulls out the tequila bottle from the cupboard, where it's been since her first week home. Pouring a healthy shot into a glass, she wanders into the living room and flops onto the couch. Despite the doctor's best efforts, Ellis is not responding to the treatments, and her mind seems to be unfocused. Today she thought Meredith was only eight years old, and rambled on about Thatcher leaving and what was she going to do. Meredith didn't need them to tell her that Ellis wasn't getting any better.

She drank that shot down, and poured another one, shuddering at the sharp burn. "Damn, damn, damn..." she mutters, wondering what she is going to do now. Drinking seems like a good thing right now, at least she won't have to deal with anything.

Dimly, she is aware that the phone is ringing, somewhere in the house, but she closes her eyes, shutting it out. There's nobody she wants to talk to right now anyway, not even Derek. She's not used to anyone taking care of her, and there's nothing he can do anyway. Well, maybe one thing...she thinks with a little giggle.

The phone keeps ringing, and finally she gets up and stalks over to answer it. "What?" she snaps. She clutches the bottle in one hand, and the phone in the other as she waits.

"Well, that's the Meredith I know so well," Cristina comments dryly on the other end. "Drunk and twisty."

"Hey, Cris..."

"What's wrong with you? Break up with the boy toy?"

"No, and don't call Derek that. He's a nice, considerate..."

"Whatever. I thought you were having such good sex with him nothing else bothered you anymore. Not that you've given me any details yet, Mer."

"It's my mother..." Meredith sighs, sitting on the couch again, taking another shot.

"I should've known. Do you want me to come out there? We can go out, get drunk and bring home inappropriate guys."

"No, seriously, Cristina, I'll be fine."

"You always say that."

"I'm always fine."

"Riiight, that's why you're clinging to Jose again."

"Jose to the rescue!" Meredith giggles, the alcohol hitting her suddenly, her words slurring.

"Mer, maybe you better call Derek. You need somebody with you," Cristina says. "He sounds like a good guy to talk to."

"NO! I'm better off alone, anyway. I just mess up anyone who gets close to me."

"You're scaring me, Mer."

"I'm fine, I'm just going to have another drink, now, so I'll talk to you later..."

"Meredith!" Cristina shouts into the phone, before the line goes dead.

__________________________

"Meredith!" The voice cuts through the fog that surrounds her consciousness, and she shakes her head. "Are you all right, Meredith?"

She blinks up, into Derek's concerned face, pressing a hand to her forehead, with a soft groan. "Oh, god..." He has her cradled in his lap, and she hides her face against his chest. "What are you doing here?"

"Mom got a call from your friend Cristina, she was worried about you. She told Mom that you're her person, and you sounded depressed." He strokes her hair away from her forehead. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

Meredith sighs, and struggles to sit up. "Nothing, I'm fine."

He eyes the nearly empty tequila bottle sitting on the coffee table. "Blowing me off for a bottle of tequila?" he asks softly. "I'm much more fun to wake up with, Mer."

"Derek...I just...I'm not used to having anyone take care of me..."

"Cristina sounds like she does her best."

"Yeah, but that's different - we look out for each other. I was there for her when she was pregnant, and lost the baby. I'm her person," Meredith said, a small hiccup punctuating the end of her sentence.

"So, you don't want anyone else to take care of you?" he asks gently, rubbing his thumb along her lip. Seeing her soft green eyes waver, a tear slipping down her cheek, nearly undoes his own emotions. "Do you want me to leave?"

Meredith lets herself relax against him, reassured by the steady beat of his heart. "Stay," she says, her voice so lost and soft. Derek tightens his arms around her and hugs her close, rocking her back and forth.

She finally raises her face to him again, and he leans down to kiss her, slowly tracing her bottom lip with his tongue, setting off a trail of shivers down her spine. She lets out a small whimper, as he kisses her a little harder, and her lips part, welcoming his tongue against hers. Still feeling a little disoriented from the tequila, she clings to him, letting his strength comfort her, taking away some of the self pity she has been wallowing in. "Meredith, just let me in. You don't have to be the strong one all the time," he murmurs, kissing her throat, his hands sliding across her back. "Whenever you want to tell me what's bothering you, I'll be here for you."

"Okay," Meredith whispers, putting her head back down against his chest. Before long, her body relaxes completely, and her breathing deepens. Derek shifts them around on the couch, stretching out with her tucked into his side. She curls up tighter against him, and he kisses the top of her head, as she falls deep into sleep. For a long time, he lays in the dark with her, listening to her breathing, keeping her safe.