𝐀𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐱𝐢𝐚

CHAPTER 3: THE VOICE IN THE SILENCE

Disclaimer: This chapter contains heavier matters, such as self-harm and heavy self-sabotage, if you are not well mentally, please do not read the chapter.

I was fingering my guitar again, testing the tunes for a new song I was testing. It's incredible how everything was the same, but at the same time, so different. I was in a better place in life, so why was I feeling so down?

I could still feel the warmth of the setting sun on my window, the sweet wind from the fall, almost turning into winter. December was coming, and with it, the cold and white snow, just like my Mint.

Mint. What happened between us? No, not us, what happened with me?

We were happy, I can't deny that, but as we grow closer, I became more and more afraid of losing him. I get jealous at every single thing he does that doesn't concern me, and right after I feel terrible for feeling that way.

I took a deep breath and drove those thoughts away, focusing on my song.

I don't know the way I feel
And I don't care if you knew

'Cause I decided to believe
From the moment when we meet

That I needed you
That I wanted you

And that I was special for you
But then I knew it was a lie

'Cause if the love was alive

There would be no way
For you to take my heart away

I don't blame you, but I want to
And I know it's not your fault so
Please don't come back no more

Because you said that you love me
And now that's not even worth it

When you told me it was a lie

'Cause if the love was alive

There would be no way
For you to take my heart away

Even if I wanted to feel otherwise, I couldn't control my feelings. And the reoccurring inspirational quotes from Charlie, referencing a band: "Feel your feelings, fool", I knew that feel what I was feeling wasn't a thing I'd wish for my worst enemy, not even for William.

I smiled when I remembered Charlie. She started listening to my type of music so she could talk with me, it was very nice. Everyone was making an effort to be closer to me. I was happy about it but also felt that they were giving too much importance to me.

I noticed I was playing the melody almost to the point to keep singing:

And now I want it back
Because I've gone mad

And I want to give it to him

Because I know that he loves me
And I finally fell worthy
'Cause the love is our bond

And there's no way he won't
Take my heart away

But I know he'll keep it safe

I know he'll keep it safe

"Is that about me?" asked a very familiar voice, coming from my door. "I like it,"

Mint, my cute white lynx, was waiting for me to finish the song. Mom had invited him over, so maybe he'd lighten up the mood a little bit. Even if we were trying to get better at reacting to this, mom was still very sad.

"The last part," I said, putting the guitar away. "Glad you came,"

"Of course I'd come," he said, after kissing my snout. "I missed you,"