Shadow War: Behind the Green Eyes

The Truth Is Revealed

*Warning! This chapter contains self-harm, mentions of wanting to commit suicide, mentions of abuse, mentions of rape, and foul language. Read at your own risk!*

<-Lily's POV->

2 Weeks Later

I breathed heavily and looked up at Sara, who was also panting like I was. I laughed.

"Wow, Sara," I said, with a smile, still trying to catch my breath. "You've gotten a lot stronger since the last time we fought."

"You're one to talk," she said, collapsing onto the ground. "My ribs hurt. That was one powerful kick."

"Remind me why you did this without protective gear," Ava said, taking a sip of her water.

"Because that's what we will be experiencing when we battle Leka," I said.

"Ah, right," she said. "Grace, you wanna go?"

"Last time you asked that I ended up with a black eye and despite Lily's healing, I went home with a sore eye and it hurt like hell. I was lucky my parents didn't notice," Grace said, leaning against one of the practice dummies.

"Uh-huh," Ava said. "That was fun."

"Ava, don't beat up my best friend again," I said, healing Sara. "I literally had a panic attack about it."

"Because you l-"

I used my magic to make her mouth shut. I finished healing Sara and began healing myself. Once I was finished, I let Ava speak again and walked off the fighting mat.

"Cole, Jacob, you guys are up next," I said, adjusting my gloves.

"Hell yeah!" Jacob said, running onto the mat. "I get to fight my best friend!"

"Can we maybe, you know, take a break?" Cole asked. "I ran 30 laps around the gym and I'm exhausted."

"Okay then," I said. "Let's take a 30-minute break."

I walked over to my bag and grabbed my water bottle and began to drink from it when Sara suddenly hugged me. I swallowed my water and capped the bottle and turned around to hug her back. I expected it to be a normal hug, but, to my surprise, she grabbed my wrists and moved them in front of her.

"Sara, let me go," I said.

"No," she said.

"C'mon, this isn't funny."

"I never said I was trying to be funny," she said. "I've always wondered why you wore these gloves. Take them off. Now."

"What?! No!" I yelled. "This is my business and my privacy. I don't need to tell you shit."

"Do I need to repeat myself? Take off the fucking gloves!"

"Sara, leave her alone!" Grace said.

"No! She's taking these gloves off right now, whether she wants to or not!"

"I said, let. Go. Of. Me!" I said, yanking my hands out of her grip. However, she had grabbed onto my gloves and they were yanked off my wrists, revealing my cuts.

Everyone gasped. I lowered my arms and tried my best to hide them. Ava walked over to me and grabbed my hands. She slowly backed up and gently lifted my arms up to look at my cuts. She looked at me and my cuts in horror. It was the same expression she wore 2 weeks ago when she came home. I looked over at Asher and Jamie who were also in shock. I looked at my friends and they all were shocked as well. Sara dropped my gloves in surprise.

"Lily," Ava said. "How long?"

"W-What?" I asked, turning my gaze back to my sister.

"How long have you been doing this?"

"S-Since the beginning of 8th grade," I said.

"Explain. Now."

I sighed and sat down on the floor. "You guys might wanna sit down."

Everyone took a seat. Once I made sure everyone was listening, I sighed and began to talk.

"As you guys know, my parents didn't exactly treat me and my brothers very well. And as recent events prove, they also didn't treat my sister well. I was abused by my mother, raped by my father, bullied at school, and someone I considered my best friend left me. I didn't even realize until recently that I actually loved her. But she's dead, so it doesn't matter in the end. I was so tired of being alone, being picked on, being abused, being sexually harassed, just being hurt in general. I never even considered it until two days after 8th grade started. I was in the bathroom when I fell and I cut my wrist against something sharp. And yes, it did hurt, but it also felt...good. The physical pain felt better than the mental pain and continued to do it in secret.

"I only did it because it made me feel better. It replaced my mental pain with physical. And it felt...amazing. It felt...better. It felt like I had an actual reason to cry in pain. Because I was physically in pain. I always listened to you guys when you guys had a problem but I decided that you guys didn't need to listen to my stupid shit. You had your own problems to deal with, so I kept it to myself. I kept it in my head and replaced my mental pain with physical pain. I just thought that it was the only way for me to be happy again. I thought maybe slowly killing myself so that way when I finally died, everyone would be better off without me."

When I finished, I looked up at everyone to find them all in tears, Grace, Ava, Asher, and Jamie were straight-up sobbing. Grace got up and walked over to me and sat back down and gave me a tight hug, not wanting to let me go in fear of me doing something.

"Lillian," she said using my real name. "I swear to fucking God if you kill yourself, when I finally die, I'm going to slap you in the face so hard. Suicide doesn't end the pain, it passes it on to someone else. That someone else would be me, your siblings, and your friends. Please, don't hurt yourself anymore. For me and for the people that care for you."

I felt myself tear up and I hugged Grace back. "I won't, I promise."

-Meanwhile With Leka-

I took several steps away from the viewing window and once I stopped, I fell down onto my knees in surprise. I never thought Lily would ever hurt herself. I always thought she was happy, despite everything she had gone through. I should've expected that. I slapped myself.

"No, Leka," I said to myself. "She's the enemy. You shouldn't be acting this way towards the enemy. Cut it out. You're doing this for Ace, James, and Aaron."

But why do I feel so bad? Why am I feeling this way towards the enemy? Do I really think she's the enemy?

Word Count: 1084