When I awoke from my dream I realized I was holding a gun. I must have been sleep walking I said to my self. I decided to get dressed and go out it was still pretty early in the eavening around 3am. I threw on a tight pink dress and some black velvet pumps and headed to platnioum. I walked through the doors still in a haze for I had indeed left the hospital but I guess I fell asleep right when I "walked though the doors of logans work" I was nothing short of 17 years old the only reaso i had gotten a job as a marine biologist is because of "family" ties. My life had been hell as if you couldn't tell but that night I wasn't worried about it I had my fake ID in hand and was ready to party until I couldn't remember the night before. One drink turned to two and two to three and so on. My vision blurred my thoughts raced and my head spun. What have I brought myself to? I was wasting away but I was ok with it. I guess you could say I was giving up on myself. My world felt as if it was crashing down. The only way I knew to hold back the pain not only from what happened to Logan but what has happened to me all around was by drinking, cutting, burning, and weed. I drug myself out of the bar that night feeling lost and hopeless but was I giving up yet? Of course not I had to be there for Logan when he got better that was until I got the phone call it was about 4 in the morning yeah needless to say things went down hill fast at platnioum. I walked through the front door in a daze when the pircing sound of my phone rang. "Hello?" I answered "hi yes is this Jessica?" A voice rang through "yes who is this ?" I asked grogaily "this is Dr. Marsh from UK hospital I have some bad news Jessica I'm sorry to tell you this but logans condition is worsening I'm afraid we can no longer keep him on life support although he wants to say his good byes to you." Before I could even object I heard Logan faintly in the phone "Jessica baby I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I love you so much baby please don't worry you and our baby are going to be great, you hang in there I love you both." Through my tears all I could muster was a "no this isn't happening." The phone hung up and I lost it I lost all control of myself. I cried uncontrollably. How did he know I was pregnant? I guess he could hear me the whole time I was talking to him and thought he was unconscious. I was about 2 or 3 months pregnant with our baby at 17 years old. I was so mad so hurt so angry with everything and everyone I grabbed my razor I cut everything I cut my arms my hips,my legs, my stomach and I grabbed a bottle of booz and sat in a pool of blood and drank. I called Sara for she was out with her friends I told her I was sorry and that I loved her I told her if my baby made it through this to please take care of him or her and with that I hung up the phone took one last drink and slit my throat.
