weakness

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Clarke's pov

"Lexa come on." I said resting my hands on her cheeks.

Please Lexa don't do this.

"Clarke I can't." She said trying to back away.

Please Lexa let yourself feel.

"Lexa please...." I said sadly.

Please Lexa trust me.

"I- I can't." She said scared.

Please Lexa don't be scared.

"B- but I love you." I said my voice breaking.

I could see the sadness in her eyes. I know this was hard for her but I was really hopping she would try for me.

"Clarke- I - you know I can't say th- why are you making this so hard." She said as a tear fell from her eye.

She quickly wiped it away, not ready to show any emotions. I really wished she would just open up to me.

"Lexa just try. For me... please." I said begging as tears rolled down my face.

"Clark stop making me weak." She said almost inaudibly.

"Lexa love is not weakness." I said rubbing her cheek.

"I love you. Do I look weak to you?" I asked knowingly.

"No... of course not." She said not taking her eyes off the floor.

"Exactly. Love is not weakness. Titus is stupid." I said sternly.
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"Clarke you deserve better. I am not emotionally available." She said pushing my hands off of her cheeks.

"Yes you are, you just won't let yourself be." I said getting angry.

I know I shouldn't be angry at her but I couldn't help myself. I loved her so much. It was so frustrating. Imagine having the person you love deny their feelings for you because they think they aren't supposed to have them.

"Clarke I- I just can't feel anything." She said still not daring to look up.

"Fine then tell me you don't feel anything after this." I said stepping forwards and grabbing her face with my hands.

I crashed my lips against hers feeling the warmth of her soft lips once again. kissing her was making me forget about everything. My whole body felt warm at the contact, wishing I did this more often. I didn't even know where all this boldness came from but I didn't care because I was kissing her. I was actually kissing her. I didn't think it would ever happen again and now that it was and I never wanted it to end.

I kept her bottom lip between mine scared that if I moved my mouth she would pull away. Scared that this will be the last time. Scared that she will realize what was happening and would pull away.

I pulled back ever so lightly just backing them enough to change the angle of my head and capture her soft lips again. I was so happy she didn't pull away. Maybe she was telling me she was going to try. I felt her hand gently settling in my hair, tangling her fingers in them. I moved one of my hands from her face to her covered hip. Enjoying every single moment of this delicate yet passionate long kiss.

My whole body was melting and my heart was accelerating when I felt her slightly slide her tongue against the small opening of my lips. I immediately opened my mouth a little wider desperately needing more contact. My body was practically aching at the need of closure.

I felt her tongue enter my mouth, testing the unknown territory. I slightly moaned at the contact. I was completely loosing myself in this kiss. I had never felt anything like this before.

She pulled away resting her forehead against mine. My body already feeling cold and my mouth missing the contact of her's.

"Cla-" She begun.

"Shhh." I said not wanting her to ruin this moment.

"Clarke... I will try." She said meeting my gaze.

"You will?" I asked as a smile crept on my face.

"Yes." She said smiling.

I sighed contently as I wrapped my arms around her waist needing to be in her embrace. She wrapped her arms around my neck, snuggling her face in my neck. I felt so happy. I felt complete.

"I- I l- love you." She said as I felt my shoulder getting soaked.

I never dreamed about hearing those three words more in my life. I smiled widely, a warm pit growing at the bottom of my stomach.

"I love you too." I said kissing her head.

"Can you lay with me tonight?" She asked shyly.

Gosh how I loved this side of Lexa.

"I will lay with you every night." I said pulling away from the hug.

She nodded gently. She looked so scared yet so happy.

I softly started to take off her armor, I took off her big chest piece, then her shoulder one and the daggers she had tied around her thighs.

She remained still, looking exhausted.

After I removed her armor she laid in bed looking at me like she was scared I would run away.

I quickly kicked my boots off my feet and crawled into bed. I turned Lexa on her side and quickly laid my front flush against her back, wrapping my arm around her waist. My body felt warm again and I already knew this was going to be the best night of my life.

I felt her gently grab my hand.

"Thank you for not leaving me and for having the patience to help me work on opening up." She said quietly.

"I will never leave you. You don't leave the people you love. And that includes you now." i said snuggling my head in her hair.

"I know how hard it was for you to accept that you love me but I am really glad you did because I can't imagine my life without you." I said meaning every single words.

"And I know this isn't a done deal. I know you still have a lot to work on- we still have a lot to work on. But I know that we can do this." I said squeezing her hand.

"Even if I am not good with this emotion stuff I know that when I am with you I feel very happy and that you holding me makes me feel safe." She said opening up a little.

"I am glad you chose me to make you feel safe. Even if you are way stronger than me, know that I will always protect you and make sure that you are okay." I said smiling at her cuteness.

I felt like the luckiest person in the world. The great commander, the Lexa was letting me in. She was letting me make her feel safe and she was letting me love her. I was forever grateful for that.

"You are the best thing that happened to me in my seventeen summers of existence." She said tenderly.

"I hope we are going to have more moments like this and that when we wake up you won't pretend like nothing happened." I said anxiously.

"Klork the word love doesn't come out easily of my mouth. If I say I love you that means we are going to stay together during this lifetime and many others." she said tugging my arm closer to her.

"I love you." I said closing my eyes.

I fell asleep more peacefully than ever. I felt complete, I could die right now and regret nothing. I was holding the person I loved the most in my arms tightly while she hung into my hand for her dear life. She was holding my hand like she was making sure I wouldn't vanish, like she was making sure it wasn't a dream. She was the most beautiful inside and out person I had ever met. She was so pure.

She deserved the world but the world didn't deserve her.

A/N : Don't forget to vote and leave suggestions in the comments.

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