Hidden Valley (D. SWING)

V. Sugar Hill

I didn't go to college.

Swimming was my life and with swimming came college. I already knew I didn't want anything to do with college if I wasn't swimming. I was hardly getting by with my grades to begin with. The water was my only motivation. For a long time I said Cynthia took that from me but, these days, I don't know if I can only blame her anymore. I can't tell if that's me trying to not have a trace of her left in my life or somewhere in there is still some truth brewing.

Cynthia put the final nail in my coffin. It's not a doubt about that. My confidence shattered the day she threw that bag of flour at me. The craziest thing about it is... I was already in the coffin. It wasn't a guarantee that I was going to come back fully healed in time for summer camp activities. I had a chance with baseball. I don't love baseball the way I loved swimming but I could have easily gotten a scholarship, trained, and made my way to somebody's swim and dive team. It was around the time I was forcing myself to go all the way with baseball that Cynthia started going after everybody on her list. I guess I was collateral damage to a destructive personality.

I don't know if Cynthia took college from me but I know she took something and whatever it was broke me down to the earliest stage of my existence. And while the ringing question continued to be along the lines of questioning who I am. The more I think I'm getting closer to answering that question, the quicker I see it becoming the question of... What am I doing?

No matter the question, I still find myself right by the same element as I search for the answer.

"How was that?"

Her ponytail floats above her neck as she rests her chin on the concrete edge of the swimming pool. Everyday she looks more and more like her sister.

I stare down at my stopwatch. "You made it down to three but your stroke is sloppy. You do that with another body in the water with you and you gone swerve all into their lane. You know what that means?"

Evelyn sighs, "A DQ." I knowingly nod as I bend down to her level, watching her sulk against the perimeter of the pool. "Don, why can't you just get in here? It's hard knowing what my space is like with no other bodies in the pool with me."

"I ain't have nobody in the water with me. I started in a lake, Ev. Getting your young ass in this pool took a lot of favors. It's better for you in here than the lake anyway."

"So is that a no on you getting in the water," questions Evelyn.

"Only way I'd get in is if you were drowning and I taught you to float in your sleep."

Evelyn wades around for a second, her thoughts building up. My knuckles seep into my calf as I massage the strained muscle after a tiresome eight hours of lifting furniture for pay. "Oh, no! Don!" Evelyn's falls beneath the surface of the crystal chlorine waters with a splash echoing from the flail of her hands. I laugh, wiping the water droplets from my cheek and nose. With a partially amused stare in my eyes as I watch her return from the tideless waters, I fold my arms across my chest. "I could've died, Don. You weren't going to save me?"

"I already did." She smiles from the center of the pool. "Back to the starting line. Watch your arm reach this time, okay? Remember what I told you. Think of it like you're throwing darts and don't lock your elbow for too long."

It's not easy convincing people I really do have a job with all the things I have to do in a day. I work somewhere between part-time and full. I DJ as many parties as I can, I do this music thing with the guys, I do some stuff with my dad and the church. After all of this, I make myself find a way to fit Evelyn in my schedule. She still wants to swim and while she's too old to still think I'm a mermaid or she has the chance of being one, she's hit a new level of love for water.