Random Warrior Cats Spoofs (Rated W for Waffles)

#6: Bugging Again

Hollyleaf: *descends from StarClan* Hi Willowshine!

Willowshine: *screams*

Stormstar: Let's go back to TC

Stormstar & Willowmist & Brackenberry: *teleports*

Graystripe: GIMME WAFFLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stormstar: Calm down! *eats waffle* *uses author powers to make a table of waffles appear*

Feathertail & Blossomfall & Graystripe: *chows down*

Firestar & Bramblestar: *screams* NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Graystripe: You can leave

Firestar & Bramblestar: *screams*

Briarlight: *travels over to the waffle table* Dad, can I have a waffle?

Graystripe: *nods*

Millie: Oh my dearest, sweetest Briarlight, you're allergic to waffles, remember? Come eat some pancakes

Briarlight: *screams* NO! I WANT DAD TO GET ME A WAFFLE!!!! I CAN EAT THEM!

Millie: *drags Briarlight away*

Briarlight: *is kicking and screaming*

Stormstar: *makes bolt of lightning fry Millie*

Blossomfall & Feathertail & Bumblestripe & Briarlight & Stormstar & Graystripe: *cheers*

Willowmist: Graystripe, why are you cheering? Your MATE just got FRIED

Graystripe: Eh. Millie will NEVER REPLACE SILVERSTREAM

Willowmist: *backs away slowly* Oooooooookay then....

Stormstar: *is whispering with Brackenberry* Should we cut to a commercial break?

Brackenberry: *whispers back* that would be a good ide-

~~

Stormstar: Welcome to the commercial break! We will be back with you in just a moment after this delightful commercial!

~~

Graystripe: *in a deep, dramatic voice* Coming this summer...

*a huge book flashes across the screen*

Graystripe: Join Feathertail as she tells about her life starting with...

*an image of Feathertail falling in the water appears*

Graystripe: ...her apprentice ceremony

*an image of Stormfur and Feathertail, along with Mistyfoot and Stonefur in the fox den flashes across the screen*

Graystripe: Actually tomorrow, you can get Feathertail's newest book

*the huge book flashes across the screen again*

Crowfeather: The Story of My Life by Feathertail of StarClan and the Tribe of Endless Hunting. It has exclusive never before heard about stories in the back. The book has 3,529,463,846 chapters and 638,463,830,284,628,947 pages. If you pre-order now, you can get it for the low, low price of 563,846,383,928,476,352,638,729,273,637,829,374,748,938,273,940,433,948,747,383,847 mice. Just call 1-800-UCANTAFFORDTHIS. That's 1-800-UCANTAFFORDTHIS.

~~

Stormstar: Okay! We're Bach!

Berrynose: *facepaw*

Cherryfall: What is Bach?

Stormstar: Not, what, but who. Johann Sebastian Bach (31 March [O.S. 21 March] 1685 – 28 July 1750) was a German composer and musician of the Baroque period. He is known for instrumental compositions such as the Brandenburg Concertos and the Goldberg Variations, and for vocal music such as the St Matthew Passion and the Mass in B minor. Since the 19th-century Bach Revival, he has been generally regarded as one of the greatest composers of all time.

The Bach family already counted several composers when Johann Sebastian was born as the last child of a city musician in Eisenach. After being orphaned at the age of 10, he lived for five years with his eldest brother Johann Christoph, after which he continued his musical formation in Lüneburg. From 1703 he was back in Thuringia, working as a musician for Protestant churches in Arnstadt and Mühlhausen and, for longer stretches of time, at courts in Weimar, where he expanded his organ repertory, and Köthen, where he was mostly engaged with chamber music. From 1723 he was employed as Thomaskantor (cantor at St. Thomas) in Leipzig. He composed music for the principal Lutheran churches of the city, and for its university's student ensemble Collegium Musicum. From 1726 he published some of his keyboard and organ music. In Leipzig, as had happened during some of his earlier positions, he had difficult relations with his employer, a situation that was little remedied when he was granted the title of court composer by his sovereign, Augustus, Elector of Saxony and King of Poland, in 1736. In the last decades of his life he reworked and extended many of his earlier compositions. He died of complications after eye surgery in 1750 at the age of 65.

Bach enriched established German styles through his mastery of counterpoint, harmonic and motivic organisation, and his adaptation of rhythms, forms, and textures from abroad, particularly from Italy and France. Bach's compositions include hundreds of cantatas, both sacred and secular. He composed Latin church music, Passions, oratorios, and motets. He often adopted Lutheran hymns, not only in his larger vocal works, but for instance also in his four-part chorales and his sacred songs. He wrote extensively for organ and for other keyboard instruments. He composed concertos, for instance for violin and for harpsichord, and suites, as chamber music as well as for orchestra. Many of his works employ the genres of canon and fugue.

Throughout the 18th century Bach was primarily valued as an organist, while his keyboard music, such as The Well-Tempered Clavier, was appreciated for its didactic qualities. The 19th century saw the publication of some major Bach biographies, and by the end of that century all of his known music had been printed. Dissemination of scholarship on the composer continued through periodicals (and later also websites) exclusively devoted to him, and other publications such as the Bach-Werke-Verzeichnis (BWV, a numbered catalogue of his works) and new critical editions of his compositions. His music was further popularised through a multitude of arrangements, including, for instance, the Air on the G String, and of recordings, such as three different box sets with complete performances of the composer's oeuvre marking the 250th anniversary of his death. 

TC: *dies*

Stormstar: Well, that'll do it! *takes a huge drink of water*

Stormstar & Willowmist & Brackenberry: *teleports away*

Stormstar: Until next time...