The Arachnoids [A Starker Rock Band AU]

17: Hammered Hearts

Tony feels like he's about to pass out.

"Maybe I shouldn't do this," he says hesitantly and stares at Bucky's front door intently. Pepper is there. Pepper. He can't believe that Bucky's been able to persuade her into this conversation.
Peter, who's standing next to him, sends him a comforting smile.
"Just remember why you're doing this. Everything else will follow. I gotcha, remember?"
"Right," Tony mumbles. Why. Why-why-why.

The image of Morgan's sweet little laugh appears in his mind's eye, and an instant smile plays on his lips. His daughter. He owes it to her and himself to do this, and hopefully, that means they'll be reunited.

Tony bridges the small gap between him and the front door and presses the small black button of the doorbell. In the distance, he can hear the ringing sound echoing through the hallway- and then there are footsteps headed towards them. Tony doesn't dare to look at Peter. One more of those gentle smiles and he'll fall apart crying.
When Bucky opens the door, everything seems to suddenly set into motion by itself. Bucky greets them and steps aside to let them in. Tony does so, knowing that Peter follows along.
"We're in the living room, this way," Bucky says. It's clear he wants to get started on this sooner rather than later, the tension probably uncomfortable for him too.

And as easily as it seemed to step inside... When Tony enters the living room, time seems to freeze.

"Daddy!"

Tony is nearly knocked down by the force of Morgan running straight into his legs and wraps her little arms around them. His eyes sting, and he stares down in disbelief. Morgan has buried her face against his jeans and tightens her grip.
"Hey little monkey," Tony whispers and gently takes her arms to unfold them so that he can crouch down. Morgan's eyes sparkle with pure joy when their gazes meet.
"I missed you. I'm so happy you're home!" Morgan says and giggles, rushing forward again to hug his neck this time. Tony laughs and lifts her, her legs clamping around his waist where he holds her.
"I missed you too." Tony doesn't know what Pepper told her, and he would never want to set her up against Pepper or make her feel like she can't trust her parents. He'll play along with this game if that's what it takes to restore this mess. "You've grown into such a big lady already!"

"She definitely has your appetite," Pepper chimes in. Tony's gaze warily finds her seated on the couch, and his smile falters a little. He tries to contain himself, though and focuses his attention on Morgan again.
"Mmmh, that's my girl." Tony pokes her belly. "I bet there are lots of little pop tarts in there!" Morgan laughs and squirms where he tickles her, and when he stops, she pokes his face in return.
"Daddy, who's that?" She looks at Peter behind him and Tony blushes. Peter and he have never quite established what they are. When exactly they became friends, he still doesn't know. When they became somewhat more? Still immensely confusing.
"That's Peter. He's a rockstar too!"
"Oooh!!!! Just like you?"
"Just like me." At that answer, Morgan squirms out of his grip. When Tony puts her on the floor, she runs over to Peter - staring up at him defiantly.
"One day," she says proudly, "-I'll be the biiiiiggest rockstar in the whole world!"

"Oh my," Peter says with a grin. "I'm sure you'll be a legend ."
"See, Mommy?" Morgan sprints around and runs towards her mother. She climbs onto the couch next to Pepper and slumps down against one of the fluffy throw pillows that Bucky has on there.

"You guys want something to drink?"

-

Tony doesn't know where to start. Pepper and he are seated outside on the small porch of Bucky's house. Bucky and Peter are playing with Morgan in the garden. Her shrill giggles are music to his ears, and every time she turns around to wave at him, his heart clenches. He's missed her so goddamn much, and even now that she's actually here, he can still feel that sense of not having had her in his arms for so long.

"Why?" He asks eventually. Pepper sighs and clasps her hands tightly around the cup of tea she's holding.
"It was... A lot of things," she whispers. "Tony, I never meant for this to get so out of hand. I don't..." A sob rises from her chest, and Tony looks up, surprised. Instantly his worries take over, and he scoots a little closer. All this time, he thought she'd simply wanted him out of their lives. But could it be that he was wrong all these months?

"Pep..." He whispers and frowns at himself for already resorting back to her nickname. "What happened?"
"You know Justin, right?"
"Your boyfriend?"
"Eh, ex-boyfriend now... But yes." Pepper sniffs and sits up straight, using her sleeve to wipe away her tears. "I never told him that you were Morgan's father," she continues. "But he got jealous either way. He said he'd kick us out if I let Morgan see her father again. I didn't have anywhere else to go- I-"
"Pep, you could've... Oh, God. Why didn't you ask me for help?"
"You had your medication problems already. I thought if I told you... Well- I didn't want to send you off into an even worse place."

Tony can feel a slight hint of anger wash over him. All this time, she made him think it was his fault. This problem could've been so easily fixed. He swallows and tries to suck it up. If he gets angry now, who knows what'll happen. Pepper is finally opening up, and while Tony may be angry... He knows how difficult it can be to leave an abusive household- his own parents are the very proof of it. As much as he doesn't know whether he wants to, he should try to support her here.
"So... What happened to Justin?"

Pepper snorts angrily.
"That asshole left for some young chick he met at a bar. Said he hated me, hated Morgan, and he kicked me out after all. I've been... Staying here, actually. Bucky was so kind to take me in. He didn't know the full story, obviously. I swear, I never told anyone about your relationship to Morgan."
"Good riddance."
"I... I guess." Pepper takes a deep breath. "Tony, I didn't realize how bad this whole thing had spiraled and when Bucky talked to me... I... God, I'm so sorry."

"I," Tony hesitates. "I won't say 'it's alright' cause it isn't... But, well, I understand why you did it..."
"Tony-"
"No, I really do." After that, it's silent for a moment. Tony glances at Morgan again, who is currently getting a piggyback ride from Bucky. He smiles faintly.
"What'd you tell her?"
"That you were touring."
"Didn't she ever tell Justin about it?"
"No, I made it very clear to her it was a secret. She may be playful and mischievous, but she's smart. She always felt the gravity of the situation even when she didn't understand why."

Tony chews on his bottom lip.
"I wonder how long we can keep this up- keeping her away from the spotlight."
"I don't know Tones, but we'll keep on trying."
"We will."

After another short silence and Pepper finishing her tea, she smiles slightly.
"Thank you."
"What for?"
"For... Being so mature about this. I won't lie, this whole talk gave me some sleepless nights."
"Mmmh, I definitely don't recognize that."

Pepper chuckles, and Tony can't help but chuckle along with her. It's obvious that there are many things left to discuss. Pepper's housing situation, where to go from here... But for now, Tony feels a strange hint of calmness washing over him.

"So, who's Peter?"
"He's in our opening band. The Arachnoids; cool, eclectic rock sound. Sorta 80s vibe and definitely a hint of Gen Z stuff that I can't quite put my finger on. And-"
"Tony, you know that's not what I meant. Clearly, you don't just bring a random dude from your opening band to a talk like this." She eyes him with a curious glimmer in her eyes, and Tony groans, playfully exasperated.
"I don't know who Peter is, then," he answers with a shrug. "I think I like him. And he likes me too? But we haven't... Y'know, nothing's happened yet."

Pepper smiles, and Tony can tell she's starting to relax as well. For a moment, it almost seems like this shitty mess had never happened at all. As if they're just two friends again who simply happen to have a daughter together.

"This is nice," he whispers.
"Yeah," she mumbles back, casting her eyes down. "I'm... Really glad Bucky talked me into this. He, eh, told me some stuff about your meds too. It still isn't sorted, right?"
"Nope. Doctors don't think it ever will. We're finishing our second leg of the tour in three months from now, and I think I'll take some time off after that to do some form of extensive therapy."
"Oh, Tony, that's- That's good." She takes a deep breath and takes his hand. "I'm proud of you."

The praise fills his chest with warmth, and he smiles at her fondly. He may have slept with her once, even though he's definitely not into women, but he can still see her charm. He never realized that besides missing Morgan, he missed his effortless friendship with Pepper as well.

He hopes they can build on it again.