𝐸𝓅𝒽𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓇𝒶 ; ᴷⁱᵐᵉᵗˢᵘ ⁿᵒ ʸᵃⁱᵇᵃ ᴼⁿᵉˢʰᵒᵗˢ (discontinued until further notice)

ғᴀʀᴇᴡᴇʟʟ * ˚ ✦

╔═════════════════╗

AUTHORS NOTE

·

❝That moment when you realize that you wrote a death scene for a character you connect to on an emotional level- This will actually be a two-shot, this is part one. ❞

!! Major Trigger Warning !!

╚═════════════════╝

The iron smell of blood hit his nose as he was brought into awareness. It's scent contaminating the air of the room he was in. It was intoxicating, strong and nearby. But where was it coming from? Was there someone injured nearby? He wanted to check but he felt drowsy for some reason. His vision was blurred and darkened around the edges.

Had someone injured entered his estate for help? He should really be checking his door, but for some reason he feels he can't.

...

Giyuu told himself it was an accident, or that someone else did it. It had to be, he was far too much of a coward to actually do it in the first place. But that didn't change the fact that, indeed, his was the hand that held the blade. And the distinct soreness of his left wrist told him all too much, far more than he could possibly be comfortable with.

His mind was fuzzy. What was he doing again? Why was he in this room in the first place? He must have blacked out for a minute. He could feel his blood pounding in his ears, and it was only now that he realized something was wrong. Realization came in the form of noticing the thick red liquid that was dripping - no, pouring - out from his wrist. It was thicker than water, and left a stream of self-replenishing blood trailing down his arm.

The one other thing dripping down, was in fact dribbling down his face. Silent tears falling down his cheeks, the salty liquid cascading slowly off his face. But he couldn't move to wipe them, he was completely frozen in place. Perhaps it was the shock, at what he had done or what he knew was in his very near future. Perhaps he could just not bring himself to possibly move his limbs, for fear of making it worse. Not that it could be much worse than it already was, what with the likelihood of him passing out if not dying being very high.

His wrist ached, he guessed that he probably should have expected that it would be painful. Nonetheless, he just wanted for it to be over. He just wanted to sink into the cold darkness of eternal sleep. But the pain kept him awake, it wasn't quite enough to make him pass out from shock. Or maybe it had been, he didn't remember right after, and it must have been at least a few minutes since he made the cut.

He hadn't planned this out or anything, just a need to end a feeling of simultaneous numbness and sadness by pain. It had gone too far this time. He told himself that his hand must've slipped, he was probably lying to himself, but
if it was a mistake it was one that cost him a one way trip to the grave.

He remembered that, not too long ago, Shinazugawa had cut his own wrist in a slightly similar fashion, during Nezuko's trial. Kochou had said that if he had cut any deeper, it might have been fatal. His own wrist was bleeding far more than Shinazugawa's had, though. He knew it deep inside that this was a fatal wound that he had dealt himself.

Words echoed throughout his mind, the most prominent ones being, "Am I going to die?" He knew the answer to that question, but couldn't admit it to himself.

And in his dying misery, he almost liked the feeling. The spontaneous cause of death so differing from what he would have imagined for someone of his profession. And the sweet feeling of drifting away from the world of the living like the drops of blood dripped away from his veins, his artery really.

If he was dying, he had broken his promise to Sabito, and dishonoured his sister. He couldn't bear the thought of this, but there was no going back now. It been done, he could feel it, he knew in his heart that he was in fact, dying. He was going to die after all, alone and by his own hand. Why was it like this for him? He had wished many times that he could have exchanged his sister's or Sabito's deaths for his own. But now, he was dying for nothing. It was almost funny, that even after facing the dangers of so many demons, he was the one who ended it all.

His wrist ached, pain spreading throughout his forearm and hand. But as it hurt more and more, he began to lose feeling. It was as if his soul was detaching from his physical body. He no longer truly felt alive.

He couldn't really stand anymore, his body growing weaker by the second, so he had his side leaning up against a wooden doorframe. He could feel the blood leaving his body through the noticeably vertical cut marring his normally flawless lower wrist. Vertical, and right through the artery. His death was guaranteed at this point.

He was beginning to let go of his futile efforts to keep a desperate grasp on life when a Kasugai crow started squawking outside near him. "Pillar meeting! All pillars are to meet at the Ubuyashiki estate by noon tomorrow!"

Shit, he thought, this was worse than he imagined. He figured that as long as his crow didn't notice his lack of response his death wouldn't reach the others. But at this rate they would know by less than a few hours. They would surely notice his lack of appearance or word. But it wasn't anything he could worry about. He would just pass it off as a tomorrow Giyuu problem, even if he wouldn't be alive then. And he doubted that the other pillars would care very much in the first place. It's not like they liked him very much, as Kochou liked to frequently remind him.

He thought he saw Sabito in front of him, reaching out to slap him for disregarding his life yet again, this time enough to end it once and for all. He started to tear up, desperately trying to find enough air to force his lungs to say 'I'm sorry'. But Sabito just glared until he gave in and sent Giyuu a sad disappointed face, showing him that he was not happy that Giyuu did what he did.

And his sister, Tsutako was there too. Her usual warm smile shone in his direction. Even though her eyes were sad, as if she was wishing she hadn't had to see him so soon. She was always so kind, kind enough to sacrifice her own happiness and future to protect him from that demon. And here he was, dead in front of her.

The tears that were welling up finally started trickling down. And his body was racked with sobs. It was a painful feeling of relief, seeing them again, yet only after breaking his promise. He was horrified that he was actually glad, in the moment, to be on the brink of death. It was an awful way to go, in pain and all alone crumpled to the floor of his personal room inside his estate.

He took his last breath, and yet, as he could feel his life finally being snuffed out, he sank into the embrace of his best friend and beloved sister.