Not an update

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Sorry to keep doing updates like this, but im nit in a good mindset right now.

My friends horse that they've had since they were 6 years old died yesterday. he was 26 so i was upset because ive also grown close with that horse.

and Im just so fucking done with everything. First im on academic probabtion because my gpa is below a 2.0, so they made me take extra classes ti "help" me bring it up which only caused me to stress out even more.

Second, my health insurance decided they didnt want to cover me anymore because i filed independent on taxes this year so i could get more money back, so they took me off of my dads plan which means i cant go to my doctor i see every three months unless i pay 600 fucking dollars just to get blood work and make sure my blood levels(and all the levels they check) are good. I'm late on my testosterone shot by 2 fucking weeks because my insurance wont cover it, im due for my hormone clocker this month but i cant fucking get it because, again, insurance wont cover. So now my hormones are imbalaced and my brain cant fucking comprehend anything to control my emotions because i already have mild bipolar disorder which i used to take medicine for it but now i dont so im a ticking time bomb right about now and it doesnt help that my dyslexia gets worse when im angry so im struggling already to spell things right so autocorrect needs to be my friend today.

thirdly, School is just kicking my fucking ass. Firday is the last day of the semester. I failed 2 of my finals meaning i have 2 D's already. Im way behind on one of my classes assignments so i have like 3 things due by friday for a late grade so ill probabky get a C in that class. I already have a D in my music class that i havent taken the final on so i have to fucking cheat to make sure i at least get a C on the final so i can being my grade up. My plant science class I have a C but i can bring it up if i take the option final which ill probabky fail that to.

Im think of just dropping out next semester because of the gpa problem. If i have under 2.0 gpa , i wont be able to have financial aid, which means i have ti pay out of pocket with money that I dont have. But i cant get a real job if i dont have a degree. And i cant get a degree if i cant afford to pay for it. And i cant get a 2 year degree because i dont have enough credit hours/ finished my gen ed classes  so i cant fucking do anything. And i dont have parents who can helo pay for college like some other pepole i know because we've never had that much money when i was growing up so thats out if the question. I make $9.25 and hour working less than 30 hours a week which gives me roughly 400 every two weeks so 800 a month. I have a car payment thats $300 a month, along with insruence thats 160, equalling ti 460 a month. I pay 55$ in gas every 5 days, and i also have to buy over 50$ in food for my horses every week. I then need to also save up to take Magic to the vet because his foot is getting worse so i need to get xrays to see whats uo and the bill alone is going ti cost 500 at the least. So tell me.  Do i look like I can afford to go to college? If you say yes i will come to your house and murder you.

So yeah. thats how my life is going this week

i apologize about how slow updates are going. im trying, i really am, but i have no motivation to write anything. I barely even started the next chapter so I apologize for making yall wait so long in bewtwen updates.
i love you guys and I hope you guys understand why theres such long updates

tata my loves

--BLUE HAIRED IDIOT-- Bakugo Katsuki love storyWhere stories live. Discover now