Chapter 6

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My life kept continuing with abuse at that point of my life 10th grade all the way until 11th grade, my dad use to come home from work in bad moods, and take it out on whoever. I recall a few times that he would pick on my sister first, hit her, drag her, call her names, traumatize her about her sexual assaults. One point in time they couldn't afford her missing school and he abused her so bad, it was so sad. I remember he hit her in the eye with a belt and told the school my brother and her were playing baseball and he hit her eye with the bat for standing to close when he went to hit the ball. I've called him out so many times that he's abused my sister, brother, mom and I that he use to physically fight me like a grown man. Well, at one point it got so bad that he got me to the couch and started punching my ribcage on each side, I remember I couldn't breathe and after once I got the strength to go outside I called my aunt. My aunt was the only person I could call to talk to, she too heard on the phone when he grabbed a can and hit me in the head with it and then proceeded to punch me where he hit me. He completely tried to get me unconscious so I couldn't tell my aunt everything that happened. I remember my mom dropping me off at school and I told her "I'm going to talk to the officers and call DCF" she begged me not to, and told me she'd talk to me when we got home. Later that day my aunt called me when I got home, she asked me if I was okay and if I'd like to leave, we could make moving arrangements. Unfortunately later, my aunt couldn't get ahold of me and spoke to my mom, and she told my aunt that I was okay, when really I wasn't. I knew this because, when she finally got ahold of me she told me, their were nights that I cried myself to sleep knowing I wasn't safe. Every morning that I'd wake up I'd get ready for school and leave, I've called DCF before also, but I was just another child failed to the system. I remember crying and crying, cutting myself, I skipped school a lot because of how traumatized I was, not knowing if at home I was going to die or stay alive. Their were times that I just wanted to run and tell all the staff at my school, how my lifestyle at home was, but I knew that if I did that the beatings I received from my dad would just grow more huge. For most of the moments, I can remember that my doctor announced to me, that there's a part of my head that doesn't work as it should, and all I could think is all the times my dad beat me. You know sometimes it's better to leave such a toxic household, their were fights everyday with him, I remember when he kicked me out I was so scared but happy to leave, and he called the cops and reported me as a runaway. These nights still backflash to me, I remember one night I was sleeping and crying, my fiancé woke me up, I told everyone I had a dream my sister passed. This traumatizing nightmare I had was not that, it was me fighting away from my dad and seeing myself lifeless on the floor, I realized it was a nightmare when my fiancé woke me. Everyone use to think I was the kid that got everything they wanted, that I was such a spoiled brat, I wish that's how it actually was, instead it was just beatings for a lifetime.

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