(G)I-DLE: Dahlia (18+)

1. Cold Waters

I was shocked when I heard Soojin's favour. I stayed silent as I was thinking of what to answer her. I wanted to say no because I'm not sure about what I'm feeling for Soojin anymore. Thoughts of what happened on the plane and Bora-Bora really amplified my wanting to say no. But...

Do I really want to say no?

Despite trying my best to look away from her I turn to face her. I don't know whether it's gonna be the last time I ever see her in this manner. All alone. In a romantic place. Just the two of us...

Instantly in my mind came the times where we were happy. When she kissed me in the hospital, when she took me to Hotel Zeus. I really wasn't sure what to tell her.

Paying more attention to her, she was looking at the stars reflected on top of the lake. She looked flustered and embarrassed to have asked something like that. But damn is she beautiful. I missed this Soojin. The one I fell for time and time again. I want her deep down, I know I do. But do I?

"Oppa..." Soojin said in a shaky voice "Y-you do not need to say yes. It's ok if you don't want to-"

"Listen Soojin, I will do it. But not now. This is not a place where I want it to happen. It reminds me of that night."

Soojin looked at me puzzled. She was about to say something but her voice betrayed her as it sounded like she was whispering. I chuckled at her and put my hand on her knee.

Soojin's look changed when I did that. She looked like she was finally comforted as she gave me a small smile.

"Soojin I don't want beautiful nights like these to remind me of a night I wanna forget. I may not want to fulfil your request yet but I at least want to give you a night to remember me by. One that doesn't have sex involved whatsoever."

She teared up and so did I as she buried her face on my chest hugging me tightly. I sat cross-legged and gently pulled her on my legs so I could hug her back. I then pull her closer so I could feel our bodies touch. My heart couldn't beat any faster and I'm certain I could feel Soojin's heart beating on my body too.

I looked at her instinctively and saw her looking back. Her eyes were watery and I could see the stars of the beautiful night reflect on them.

"O-oppa... what are we-"

I closed my eyes and kissed her. I don't know why, I don't know how. But I did it.
Soojin froze on the spot but kissed me back. Her arms wrapped around my neck as I wrapped my arms around her waist. It felt like magic. It was something we were both longing for. I then broke the kiss much to our displeasure. We then looked at each other in silence.

"Y/n-nim...w-what did we just do...?" Soojin asked receiving no answer.

She then laid her head on my chest looking at the lake and sobbing. I had to say something. I wanna tell her I love her. But do I even love her? Do I want her to get jealous every time I pay attention to someone else? Also if we get exposed what is the press gonna say? But there's also this side of Soojin. The soft Soojin. The one I'm falling all over again for. The one I risked my job for time and time again and still would. Many scenarios flashed through my mind where I and Soojin are separated. Thoughts like her dating someone else. I instantly got jealous and angry just by imagining that. But why? We're not even dating. We basically agreed to end this so why am I feeling like this?

I then remembered what she said before:
"You never developed legitimate feelings for me..."

"If only you knew Soojin..." I mumbled while thinking out loud.

"What was that oppa?" Soojin said while fixing her eyes on me again.

"What was what?"

"You mumbled something oppa. What was it?" She looked at me and she had a soft smile. That smile instantly made my heart beat faster.