Find Me | JJK

pt. 5

A/N - when you see ▷ make sure you play the music linked above.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

April 13, 2018

South Korea, Seoul

It's been a little over 2 years since I saw Jungkook. After our separation, my life continued as per usual. I ended up going to University to study Dentistry, only to drop out a semester later. Health just wasn't it for me. I decided I'd pursue music since it was always something that made me feel something. I didn't want to think that I wanted it because of Jungkook. I took meeting him as a sign, a sign that I needed to tell me that it was the right thing to do. I'm now two years into studying music production, and so far it's been one of the best decisions of my life. I have a year left of studies before I graduate, and I wasn't sure what I'd do after I finished.

My exposure to BTS widened after meeting Jungkook. I was able to watch from afar, and they had me constantly amazed at their rapid growth in success. They started to become more internationally recognised, though I wasn't surprised because they were all so talented.

I wasn't able to get myself into any sort of intimate relationship with anyone. His touch stuck to me like a tattoo, making it near impossible to even fathom the thought of someone else's hands on me. The first year without him was the worst. It felt like I went through a break up without actually going through one. As I drowned myself further into my studies, I used the thought of him to motivate me, to keep me going. Though it was easier to deal with on a regular basis, not being able to touch him or talk to him felt like torture. A slither of insecurity always found its way into my head. What if he didn't feel the same way anymore? What if it was just a moment of impulse for him? What if he didn't miss me the way I missed him?

I found myself standing in Seoul, surrounded by skyscrapers and bright lights. I had landed a littles over 8pm, so after getting out of my taxi, I dragged my luggage to the apartment complex that I had booked my 3 nights stay in. Once I had checked in with the reception, I was eagerly on my way to my room. Reaching the door to my hotel room, I swiped my key card and opened the door to a beautifully designed room. The walls were tiled with a rough texture, as well as a feature marble wall. The bed was facing the floor-to-roof window, which looked out onto the city. The bathroom felt so high class that it would be almost a sin to even use the room. Thanks mum.

I had told my mum that I was here for studying purposes, with the whole kpop industry and all. The only person who really knew about my situation with Jungkook was Lisa. She was actually the one who persuaded me to even come on this trip in the first place.

Flashback - 2 weeks ago

"Dude, you have to go. Seriously, if you don't go and claim that man, chances are someone else will!" I look at my best friend in annoyance, who is leaning against my kitchen counter. "Look, how do I even know if he remembers me? We spent barely a whole night together. God, I don't even remember what I ate for dinner last night" I reply back as I pass her a cup of coffee.

"And what if he does remember you? How are you just going to give up the chance to start something if you don't even want to do anything to start it?" I look at Lisa while tapping my finger on the side of my mug. "All I'm saying is that it wouldn't hurt to go. If he remembers you, then great. And if he doesn't, then that will give you closure to move on" she continued.