Mirrored Cuts

Chapter 21

A few days later, he invited me to Sandy's twenty-first birthday party. I balked, hoping that I could think of a way to get out of it before we finished the conversation.

"Everyone is going," he said. Meaning Carl, Akul, Ruby and Lily.

I accepted, and since it was an ugly sweater party, found a fluffy white sweater that my grandmother had given me several years prior.

When we walked up to the house, I was seized with the desire to run away. John thought I was just responding to the wind that had blown past and put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his warmth. The door opened and there stood sarcastic girl herself, Sandy. She looked like she had been sucking on a moldy lime. She raised her hand, and gestured us into the house.

"Welcome," she said, but not like she meant it.

John had no idea what had just happened. "Happy Birthday, Sandy! Shots, later? I hear you have to get to 21."

She changed her tune. "Of course. I'll meet you downstairs. We're just about to start the dancing."

She closed the door, clipping me with the corner and walking away. I scrambled after John, adamant that I would not be left alone in Sandy's house. Her house was a combination of classy adult living and college. That is to say, there were rugs. But there were also empty bottles of vodka, rum and tequila. Mainly empty bottles of tequila, which I learned later that night were her favorite shots to do.

"Let's get this party started!" I heard from the basement as I descended the stairs. I could feel the reverberations in my heart from the bass in the music. Usually, I enjoyed the feeling. It was more intoxicating to me than alcohol. But tonight, it just made me nervous. I felt my stomach drop with the beat.

I watched as Sandy made the rounds, gesturing towards me and John with her eyes, pretending to be subtle. I watched the crowd begin to inspect me, my clothes, my hair, the way I held myself. I tried to stand my ground, but John had moved to the bench of alcohol to do tequila shots. I ran to Ruby and Akul and hid.

They were deep in conversation about the latest football game, as Ruby was adept at being a "bro". I knew so little about football, I couldn't even pretend to know what they were talking about. I watched John and Sandy throw back tequila and bite limes, over and over.

Carl slid up behind Ruby and myself. "Hello ladies, how are you tonight?" He said it like a radio announcer. I wanted to move the dial away from his channel.

Ruby smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Lily thinks it would be fun if we all kissed."

Akul fled, unable to stand up to Carl's charismatic pressure even though he didn't want to participate. I had seen my father exhibit that influence on people before.

Lily giggled and threw her arms around Carl. He rolled his eyes. I wondered why Lily liked Carl. He was always putting her down.

"At the same time?" I said, still watching Sandy out of the corner of my eye.

"Of course. Everyone ready? Pucker up and come on in." Carl's arms guided us into the pentahedron of lips. As we got closer, I noticed the slight beginnings of a mustache on Ruby, the stress pimples on Lily and the nose hair on Carl. I wondered what they were noticing about me. Our lips brushed, with no one except Carl trying to make it a real kiss.

"What the hell?" John's voice broke the strange reverie.

Sandy slithered up behind him. "Oh, ignore them, John. It's just stupid freshman, being themselves. Besides," she said. "You don't have anything at stake here, do you?"