Mirrored Cuts

Chapter 29

My dad let go of my ankle like it was burning steel. I pulled it underneath me where my father couldn't reach it from the floor.

"Hello, Ruby," my mother said, always suave despite the jump in her shoulders when she heard Ruby's voice.

I mouthed thank you to Ruby when my parent's backs were turned. She sent me a nod and lay back down.

"How about we take you out to dinner, sweetie?" my mother said. "I heard there's a wonderful sushi place down the street."

I shook my head and attempted to think of a good excuse. "I have a lot of homework and Ruby promised to tutor me in statistics tonight."

My father shot me glares, as if it was my fault that Ruby was in the room. I tried my best to avoid eye contact. My mother tried to guilt me, sighing and saying how much she missed me as they minced towards the door.

"It was so nice to see you, dear," they said.

"You too," I mumbled, not wanting to say something false louder.

When they left, Ruby disentangled herself from her covers. She didn't ask what that had been about. She just climbed up the side of my bunk bed, a feat my parents would never have been able to accomplish, and hugged me around my comforter. I wondered if this was the new Ruby. Perhaps she really did want to be my friend. The comforter was bulky and difficult to maneuver. I escaped and put my arms around Ruby.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she said, stroking my hair.

"That was nothing," I said. My father had done way worse.

"You have to tell someone. What he did was awful."

My shoulders tensed, ready for the lecture I had always imagined would come when a friend found out. It would be like what I imagined I would tell my mother. "What is happening is wrong and you need to tell someone, do something, try to fix it. College was my way of fixing it. Already, it was better. One encounter every semester was heaven compared to coming home with grades every week and hoping that they would make the cut. Sometimes, if I hadn't shared my grades in over a week, my father would go through my backpack. I started hanging out with the kids who smoked outside of my school so I would have a lighter for those slips of paper that always slipped me up.

"That was abuse, Andi." Ruby always got to the point, whether you wanted her to or not.

As if I didn't know that. "He's just worried about me, Ruby. You don't know the situation."

She pulled out of our hug and put her hand on my shoulder. "I'll come with you. I can hold your hand."

I pulled away and her hand dropped from my shoulder. "It won't help, Ruby. I know. It's not a big deal."

"Your mother didn't say anything. Does she hurt you too?"

My eyes welled up with tears. She had found my weakness, my familial betrayal. She didn't understand the situation though. She never would. She had a perfect family and perfect grades. She would ruin it.

"Leave my mother out of this." I moved away from Ruby and her accusations.

She crawled down the bed frame and climbed back into her bed. I wondered if she would talk to me again now that she knew about my family.

"Don't tell anyone, okay?" I said.

She moved her head up and down. It wasn't a promise, but it was good enough. She understood I didn't want this circulating the dorm floor, or worse the EMS crew. I covered my head with my comforter. Were my parents going to leave town? Or would I run into them if I tried to leave the dorm? I would have to be aware so they couldn't ambush me. They had to go back to work eventually. I resolved to stay in my dorm for the next few days. I had homework and studying I needed to catch up on anyway. Avoiding my parents would be a bonus. And I had an excuse if they did find me and pried it out of me.