Tubbo and I had been talking off and on about different things.
He thought i was better.
I knew i wasn't.
I couldn't tell him the truth,
That I couldn't actually bring myself to help or improve myself in any way.
It's the sick truth.
I tried for a week to get better but I just lost motivation.
I wanted to do it for tubbo but it was so hard.
(Tubbos POV)
He's slipping.
It wasn't hard to tell but I didn't want to point it out.
If he hasn't blown the whistle it isn't quite done though.
I won't let him leave with defeat.
I feel like I'll lose if he loses.
He is amazing and I wish he'd see that.
He is the only thing I've been dreaming of.
I want him to be okay.
I'm trying not to stress myself out with this.
(Ranboos POV)
I was sitting on the deck at 7 am.
The wind is blowing just so slightly.
Reflecting on the past days.
No one was around and I was treating the moon as a diary.
It was spitting every word I've ever told to it back at me.
It hurt so much.
The thoughts of going back in time and fixing all my past mistakes seemed so very pleasing to me.
I was just dangling on the edge.
It kept playing my turn until my patience will be shot and I leave everything and everyone.
It's horrifying but I've been thinking of it fondly for sure.
With his eyes of black just staring at me to never leave me.
It felt as though it was reading my every thought, studying my body language closely.
I'm not sure if it's real anymore but I think of it a lot for sure.
Underneath it's light is the only way I fall asleep.
I've been dreaming about it forever.
It sang me to sleep.
The beautiful sound of birds singing happily in the morning.
It's razes leave marks and scars but there is still a beautiful thing.
(Cut I few hours in the feature to his stream)
Today was a particularly weird day.
Especially with twitch.
Chat was honestly toxic as shit.
One message stood out to me.
"Your annoying as fuck no one likes u go fuck yourself"
That one honestly hurt more than I could describe.
I wasn't sure on how to approach this but it wasn't okay to keep streaming at all.
It was a decent day until then it all went downhill from there.
