PSYCHO | BANG CHAN [✓]

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

The first day Misun spent locked up in Chan's apartment was a day spent living in denial. She was aware of the situation she was in, she was aware of the trouble she was in, and yet she still found it impossible to believe. How could something that had been so good, turn into something so bad? How could the person she had fallen in love with, become someone who would hold her hostage, and kill for her, to ensure he would never lose her?

She would find herself blaming herself. If she had only done something sooner, if she had somehow put a stop to his behaviour when she had noticed the warning signs she may not be where she was right now. She could have salvaged what they had, instead of it turning into worse than worst case scenario.

Then she would find herself correcting her thinking. Chan's actions and behaviour weren't her doing, she didn't make him do anything. He had made his choices on his own accord, he was the only one to blame for the acts he had committed. She had given him love, she had never stopped loving him, she still stupidly loved him.

She switched between love and anger too frequently as each day passed. Good memories flickering in her mind of all the good they had experienced together, of his beaming smile, his kind expressions, the love he held for her in his eyes. The countless moments shared in the very apartment that was now her prison. Those memories were always replaced with the signs she should have acted on, the possessiveness, the unhealthy obsession with knowing where she was at all times, the significant lack of trust he had when any man looked her way.

No matter how much he said he loved her, the negatives outweighed the positives in every way, and as much as it hurt to admit, she was right when she had asked for a break. Her heart had told her she had changed with him, she had completely reinvented herself and not in the way she had ever wanted. She was angry at Chan, but she was also angry at herself for getting herself in this situation when she should have known better instead of allowing herself to be blinded by a love that was toxic.

Misun made a promise to herself, she was going to get herself out of this mess. No matter what she had to do, no matter the risk she would put herself in, she was finding a way to free herself from the mess she had gotten herself into.

-

Despite having Misun within his reach 24/7, Chan didn't feel as happy as he thought he would. He was glad to know nobody could take her from him, nothing could harm her, but it didn't feel like he had her. She was with him physically, but he knew she would rather be anywhere else. At first, this angered him. People who loved each other should want to be with each other, so why wasn't she happy to be with him? She had come to him, and now that she was here she was unhappy. He gave her everything, and she was still unhappy.

Chan knew, deep down, why she was unhappy. His thoughts always conflicted each other, he had moments of selfishness, moments where he wanted to keep her here forever and show how much love he had for her. And then there were moments of realization where he knew what he was doing was the opposite of showing love. You didn't hold the person you loved hostage, but at the moment it was the only reason she was here with him.