Crying Lighting (Hotch x Reader)// ✔

23. Me and My Husband

Summary:

Hotch is getting closer to finding the truth about Nathan - and you face Lucille at last.

Notes:

if u see grammar errors - no u didn't. lol

TW: mention of abuse, and abortion (lol heavy stuff, i guess) - reference to what was mentioned quiteee a few chapters ago

(italics - flashbacks)

and title from Mitski's song obvs

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"Where were you yesterday?"

You freeze by the door, unable to escape. Lying had become a second-nature to you, a survival instinct w hen you have a father that is overbearing and controlling and never sober. It was further fueled with working as a manager at Red Demo, the strip club in the Ozarks, when men would ask you out and wouldn't stop bothering you. And even after leaving Missouri, you'd hid everything – your name, your background, your origin. Not only to people you met to but also to your husband.

"I told you" you turn around, flashing him an easy smile. "I was out with a friend."

Nathan seems to consider it, his hand is sprawled over the surface of his desk and he nods, face neutral.

"Which friend?"

You furrow your eyebrows. He's never before cared about who you hang out with. He's never been the jealous type. Or the demanding one – you never got around to asking one another where you'd been. Even though you'd installed the cameras around the house to still keep an eye on him.

"What do you mean?"

He holds your gaze. "I called you several times. You didn't pick up once." He circles the desk, coming around to stand before it. He leans down against it.

"I was busy" you reply. His tone is bugging you now. "Nathan, what's this about? If it's only about the phone call – I apologize. I got distracted and forgot to call back. It was a dumb mistake "

He keeps studying you and even though he gives you another nod – his next words make you freeze.

"I thought I saw you leaving an abortion clinic."

Your heart drops to your stomach. The one single thing you'd kept from him – the only one lie that persevered was the fact you were unable to have children. You never thought you'd want them when you still had your father's genes.

"I thought you couldn't have kids. I thought -" he runs a hand over his face, "You told me that you couldn't have kids, and you knew that that's all I wanted-"

"Are you stalking me?" you interrupt.

"You said you couldn't have kids." He repeats again, his voice now louder.

You'd moved past this. You had when you'd had that discussion when you got engaged. He wanted a house full of kids and you didn't - even though you lied – and he seemed to accept it, with no hesitation.

"If you want a divorce, just say so" you breathe out resigned. "I don't want kids. I'm sorry I lied but you said it was not a problem."

"And you couldn't tell me that?" His voice is threatening. Your heart beats louder as a cold shiver runs along your spine. He was in meetings all day – how could he know where you were? Did he keep an eye on you?