Crying Lighting (Hotch x Reader)// ✔

26. Midnight Love

Summary:

Meeting Hotch after such a long time feels like a fever dream. A torturous, long, fever dream.

Notes:

TW: spice? check 😌
(i really think i pushed myself with the spice of this one, so i hope to god its natural lmao)
sry for the length (again!)

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The drive is long and spent without speaking. There's low music playing from his stereo, and the night is quiet with no traffic, and with bright brilliant stars visible up head. Your eyelids are heavy because you haven't been sleeping well ever since the news about your father broke out.

You don't know if Hotch's ready yet – to forgive you, to bypass all the lies and secrets, and to want you again. But you want him. The smell of him – sharp and sweet like the cologne he wears, and something that is only him – that you've longed for and had memorized all these years. The sight of him. The feel of him...

He hasn't touched you but being near him like this is enough at the moment. Maybe you're more vulnerable from the news of your father than anything else. But you don't want to do anything else but be here, with him.

The car slows down as you pull into a driveway leading to a large apartment building, shielded by trees and shrubs. You realize only now he never asked about your address and you never told him where to leave you. He pulls into a garage and a flutter courses through your belly.

"Your house?"

Hotch turns off the engine. "Yes. I hope you don't mind. It's nearer to the precinct and --"

"That's perfectly okay" you cut him off. He could have called you a taxi, or even asked, and the bar Agent Rossi had taken you to wasn't far away from your home. But this feels like something.

"I hope I'm not disturbing."

He opens his door, smiling at you gently for understanding the urgency of his work.

"You won't." he assures. "I live alone."

Not that you'd been fishing for another confirmation that he's not back with his ex-wife, but it still calms you down. You climb out of the car and walk around to follow him into the building. You take the elevator up and he shoves his hands in his pockets, pushing the ends of his suit jacket behind him.

Under the fluorescent harsh lighting of the elevator, you notice just how tired and spent he looks. There's a certain severity to his features that hadn't been before. You don't want to spend the time studying him, not when he now looks like the entire weight of the world is on his shoulders – but you can't help it.

The elevator dings, signaling your exit.

Hotch goes out first, house keys clinking together as they dangle from his fingers. He stops in front of a door and you close your eyes, feeling unprepared for this. He unlocks, opens it and there's a beeping sound that goes off immediately. It makes you open your eyes, shattering the fantasy you'd once dreamed of, a long time ago.

"Wait there" he orders. He crosses the threshold and takes another step until he's facing an alarm system. He inputs numbers and the sound stops.

"Come in"

You do, running on automatic. He reaches over, stretching an arm to close the door behind you – brushing against you, warm breath fanning over your shoulder, that sends a shiver down your spine – and returns to press more buttons. It's not that you're surprised he has an alarm system. But it's the fact that it's the first time he's touched you inside his apartment.