💫💀Drowning (rewrite) | Sanders Sides

Chapter 7

Remus's POV

Everything happens too fast.

First I see Roman on the floor. I joke about killing him, casually talk about dead bodies on the floor, blood and guts spilling out, but I never knew that I'd feel so lightheaded seeing one in person.

Next thing I know, I'm on the floor with him, a searing pain washing over my body. I hear screaming and crying and begging for Roman to wake up, and it isn't after Janus drags me out of the room and pulls me into a tight hug that I realize it was me. I was the source of the screaming.

The world spins and sways and it leaves me behind. Everything is so quick, so blurry. Was it real? I can't be too sure. All I know is the tears flowing on my face and my horrified screams muffled by Janus's cloak, who holds me as tightly as he can. And I'm glad he does, because I think if he lets go, I might shatter into a million pieces.

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Logan's POV

Everything happens too slow.

It feels as if I have too little time to save Roman. I'm not going fast enough. It will be my fault if he dies. I move through syrup as I grab a medical kit and have Janus remove Remus from the floor, and everyone seems to shift away from the scene while I try to heal Roman. But I know it's only a matter on one slip-up and the death will be on my hands.

After 10 minutes, Remus's cries die down, and I look behind me to see him being scooped up by Janus and carried to his room with headphones on. I mentally thank Janus and continue to work on Roman.

20 minutes later

"Hey." I feel a small tap on my shoulder and look to see Virgil at my side.

After a half hour of hard, perilous work, I'm sitting on one half of Thomas's L-couch as the other side is preoccupied with Roman. I shift over to let Virgil sit next to me and he plops down with a small groan.

"Uh, I just came to tell you that Patton fell asleep by Roman's doorway and Janus and Remus are cuddled up next to each using the same pair of earbuds." I manage a small smile but it falters.

"Hey, how you feeling, Lo?" Virgil asks sincerely. "And don't tell me 'I'm fine' or something like that, you just single-handedly performed an emergency surgery and clean-up on an almost dead body."

I sigh. "I'm not sure. Possibly a mixture of worry and relief."

"Been there, done that." He snorts at his own joke, smirking.

"All I'm sure of is that Roman will heal, but I'm not sure how deep the damage is and how long it will take." Virgil keeps nodding so I continue. "I guess I'm just worried about how it will affect Thomas."

"Yeah," Virgil nods again, "I think we're all pretty concerned. I've never seen Remus like this in my life. And Roman..." he stops and looks at the other side of the couch, "well, Roman's how he is."

I relax back into the head of the couch and look up at the ceiling. Thomas once decorated it with glow-in-the-dark stars and at first, I had thought they were silly and unnecessary - now, I wish they were there so I'd have something else to focus my attention on.

"Virgil, is there something wrong with me?"

I hear a nervous laugh. "W-what?"

"I just..." I tilt my head to look at him, "I feel like there's something bubbling up inside of me. Like, I'm doing the best I can, but what if Roman doesn't wake up? What if he dies and it's my fault because I made a mis-stitch or I didn't clean the blood in time? What if Thomas wakes up one day and all he can think of is blood and gore and death and it figuratively tears him apart until he's insane?"

I turn my head to the ceiling again and sigh. A clock ticks softly in the kitchen. The air smells faintly of citrus and rose, an interesting duo.

"What am I even feeling?"

"Guilt."

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Virgil's POV

"Guilt."

Logan and I both look to the staircase to see a man with circles under his eyes, disheveled hair, wrapped in a baby blue blanket with his glasses off but eyes wide with sadness. His tone is crackly, but not like Remus's. It's more like a rusty machine, creaking back to life, and you can hear the sorrow in his voice.

Patton begins slowly walking to the couch, eyes switching between the floor and us. "That's guilt, Logan. The feeling of being responsible for something bad happening, even though it may have not been your fault." I see Logan's body soften, but his expression stays regretful, and I put my hand on his arm to let him know I'm still here.

Logan says, "Virgil told me you were asleep."

"Well, I may have woken up and came downstairs to get some milk, but I heard you two talking and, even though I probably shouldn't have, I listened in to a bit of your conversation." Patton sits on the coffee table across from Logan and I, and looks to Roman, still peacefully sleeping, before flicking his eyes away. I nod and he continues to talk.

"Logan, guilt does not mean you're broken. More so the opposite. I'm glad you recognize that feeling, I'm glad you're being honest that you do have emotions, and I'm glad you're letting us comfort you. To be honest, guilt is a very scary thing, but trust me when I say I know you did so good helping Roman and taking his job for him. I'm so proud of you for stepping up even when times are tough. Roman will be okay. Thomas will survive. We will all live on."

"But how do you know?" Logan asks, and I don't find a twinge of sarcasm or snarkiness in his voice.

"I just have that parental instinct," Patton grins, giggling a bit. I roll my eyes in a playful manner and Logan seems satisfied with that answer.

"Thank you, Patton. For helping me as well." Logan blushes before clearing his throat. "I'll leave Roman here and monitor him in the morning. I can only hope you're right, what with your parental instinct."

"I always am," Patton teases. "Now, in case you couldn't tell, it's almost midnight, so we should probably all head to bed. And uh, Virgil, this might sound weird but can I sleep with you tonight? I don't want to be alone tonight."

I chuckle. "Sure thing, Popstar. Logan, I'll follow you to your room."

And so after a while of waiting for Logan to make sure he actually slept, Patton and I cuddled up in my queen-sized bed with warmth filling the room.

We'll be okay.

Roman included.

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Sorry for not updating this in a while, but I hope you enjoyed this!!