Spelivia , an All American fan fiction

(bonus/pre)Chapter 20

Liv POV:

I moved out of the kitchen to the patio in the back of the house. Fuck him and everything hes brought here with him.

"Liv no wait , let's talk I didn't mean it. You're not the bullshit. Its just our circumstance. And sadly that includes you. I know this was my fault, but I do apologize. Your right and I can see how I disrespected you. You have been nothing but supportive of me these past few years and I threw all of that away because I was scared of having to plan my own future. I thought I would need help from people who were supposed to know the best for me , but I don't know why I let my insecurities and thoughts get inside of my head and break what we had. Our trust our level of communication, but most importantly our relationship. I regret that with every passing moment. Thank you for making this feel like home for the while and time that it did, but I don't want to break anymore of what we have. Maybe us spending the weekend alone together here. I think it would be better if I went home and stayed a few days. I can come back and check on you if you would like me too?"

I don't know what it was, this feeling of my chest caving in but it happened in the split second of the moment I felt like the old me. The dumb sinking Olivia that would forgive him and be weak at his side without ever questioning him, all because I love him. Well fuck that.

"You don't have to go Spencer. We'll figure it out. I don't want to be weak when I'm with you or at all. I don't want to look weak for taking you back after all of this shit. I don't , so please don't make me look that way for saying that you should stay this weekend alright? Let's both equally try to be nice to each other and keep the peace. Even after mom and Jordan come back , let's not make it anymore tense for him, I know he might be going through shit with Simone. I can never take the time to catch up with him because of everything we have going on. Let's just have a good day yeah?"

He looks down playing with his hands while I speak, but I know he's hearing me when I talk about being dumb. I know he doesn't think of me that way. But I knew that he needed to know how I feel.

"Yes,  I can do that, we can do that. Thank you for telling me how you felt I know that was harder for you to do as of lately. Thank you again for instilling even the tiniest amount of trust back in me that it took for you to tell me your fears. I don't know if you intentionally did it , but I appreciate it more than you know."

"Yeah cool. So were good for right now? Anymore secrets that we can tell before we have another blow up that last almost a month?" I say smirking trying to play off the relief I felt knowing that we could be cordial. 

Of course he saw right through my act , but he played along nonetheless. That is something I can appreciate about him. Knowing when I want to talk and when I don't. Just knowing boundaries in general.

Maybe he was my person?

---------- A/N: HI! so sorry about the late at night upload, I work better that way and editting took a lot longer than I thought it would! This pre/bonus chapter is to make up for it. Hope everyone is doing well. I have a writers twitter so that you get updates on when I'm writing editting and when I'm about to post. 

@stephiswriting1, make sure you follow me to be the first to know updates, this bonus came from twitter so tell them thank you ;) 

Have a good day or night , and don't forget to keep going. Your loved 

- xo, Steph