Locked in || Moreid

Chapter Four

Reids pov (I know it's the first time I am doing this)

We were on the way to the airport, to the private Jet that gets us back to the field office. Or at least to Quantico so we could go back home to our beds. I was in line with Morgan getting our stuff checked before we went out, showing them our badges so that we could carry our guns with us.

When we got onto the Jet Morgan sat across from me. I guess it was so I knew I wasn't alone. I was following him like a lost puppy. I bet he was starting to get annoyed, having some person following him around everywhere he went. I bet he just wants to shove me off to make sure that I would never come running back to him again. I mean come on, if someone were to be following me around, I would want to kick them off too.

I guess I was fidgeting with my hands because Morgan sat his hands on top of mine and looked at me with a look of sympathy on his face. I hated that look, it made me feel small like people were only looking down on me, treating me as if I couldn't take care of myself. I hated it. Though I never showed it, people would ask questions and I can't deal with questions right now if I were to show it. "sorry.." I say quietly. He was probably getting annoyed with me fidgeting, I wouldn't blame him though, I wouldn't like anything that I am doing either.

Before Morgan could respond to my sorry Hotch sat down next to Morgan. I was confused and so was he. Both questioning why he decided to sit by us. He saw our confused looks and said, "Why did you have a panic attack earlier and how often do you have them?" He was very blunt and straight to the point.

I could feel my body tense up, I couldn't just tell him. No why would I do that? What if he were to tell everyone? Why did he need to know? It's not like it was going to affect my job performance. "Can I tell him?" Morgan asks as he can see my growing anxiety. I just slightly nod my head as a response.

He lets a small smile fall onto his face, "Well the most recent one was about that everyone found about what he told me in the Elevator." Morgan said as that was all he knew about Reid's panic attacks. Hotch looks over at me expecting me to finish. I let out a sigh and put my hands in my lap and start to fidget with my hands again, "Not as often as you might think. Um... about three times a month." I was looking down at my hands that were just sitting in my lap. I needed to take my eyes off him, to stop thinking about this whole conversation.

The jet started to take off at this point, everyone was in their seats either sitting or talking with one another. I could feel Hotch's eyes on me like they were burning holes into me.

"Can you tell me what you told Morgan in the Elevator?" Hotch asks yet another question. I look over at him and furrow my eyebrows, why did he need to know that? No he didn't need to know that. It was none of his business what I told someone in a private conversation.

I clear my throat, "No offense Hotch, but its not any of your business, that conversation is between Morgan and I." I say while not trying to sound like a total dick, but again it wasnt any of Hotch's business.

Hotch nods his head, "You're right sorry." He gets up from his seat and walks away to another seat. One that was singled out and not near anyone. I feel bad now, I mean it's not like I lashes out on him, but I also didn't want him in my business. I mean I was barely able to let Morgan in today, having someone else knowing all of my business, that's like a no go.

Morgan again looked at me with a sad look in his eyes, "you know you could have told him. I mean the whole team is there for you." I mean I knew that they were 'there' for me, but It also didn't feel like they were. I mean come on, no one would want to be there for a drug addict.

"No.. telling you was already Enugu strain on my mental health, I don't need more people to know.." I say while trying not to sound as tired as I am. I needed to go to sleep, exhaustion was all that I could feel right now. I mean sure I spent almost all day inside an elevator and not working, but the capacity of the anxiety and depression had just tired me out.

_________

3rd person

Not long after the jet took off Reid had fallen asleep leaving Morgan in his thoughts. He was worried about Reid, his addiction, the depression, the anxiety attacks. So many reasons why he was so concerned for Reid.

How was he able to just hide all of those emotions? From the team of all people. They were the BAU, Behavioral Analysis Unit, being able to see what people are feeling, see what they are going through.

But Reid also knew what they would be looking for, he's an FBI agent for the BAU. So he knew how to hide it, hide what they are looking for.

______

The jet soon landed and the whole team got off the plane. The team was looking at Reid with concern, after what they saw, the Anxiety Attack, they knew that something more was going on. They were also scared to send him home by himself, what would he do when he got there?

But they just let him go. Some where in the back of Reid's mind he wanted someone to stop him. Someone to just tell him to come home with them. So that he didn't have to go home to an empty house, a house that would just bring upon the thoughts, the negativity, everything would just come to the surface. He didn't want to be alone, he was scared that he was going to hurt himself, he knew that it would be the only way to get all the negative thoughts to leave him alone.

He went into his house alone, no one there with him. Sometimes he wished that he would be able to go home with Morgan and not have to be alone anymore, but he knew that's wouldn't be able to happen. No, Morgan would never like him like that. Not the way that Reid liked him.

He just sat down all of his things, and went to his room to get some much needed rest. But that didn't exactly happen. No. The night dragged on a lot longer than he wished it did.

_____________

Hello everyone I am so sorry that it took this long to update this story. It's been a rough last couple of months and I guess I just need time.

But anyway here is the new chapter! And I hope that you guys are happy with that.

Also I'm sorry it's not as long as I hopped it would.