Quarantine Poems

Lonely

I don't want to live anymore 

But I don't want to die either

So then, I can't help but wonder

In reality what is it?

How can I not live but not die?

I don't even know what to do

Suicide. It isn't addressed

But not enough, to be honest.

I know I am not the only

But why does it feel like I am?

If struggling builds character

Then how come I don't have any?

Why am I even still alive?

We all have reasons to stay here.

And fucking fear is one of them.

Fear is a main reason to stay.

There are so many people who

have felt this exact emotion.

Yet why do I feel so alone?

I have three hundred friends online

But I have two in real life

I don't think I will ever know

Or at least truly understand

What this feeling is really like

Why do I just feel more lonely?

When I'm surrounded by people

Than when I am isolated

But I wasn't truly alone

I have my online friends with me

And they are very good company

They are amazing company

They are the ones keeping me here

I think I answered my question

Why am I even still alive?

There are actually two answers

Mainly my fear and online friends

Why don't I feel lonely at home?

Why does it only happen here?

Someone helped me find the answer.

It's because I have friends at home.

Friends who were always there for me

Friends who are there to support me

Friends who will accept who I am

Friends who hug me when I'm down

All I can really do right now

Is put my head back hoping that

That things will improve over time

Why do I feel this sad lonely?