Broken Memories (BokuAkaKuroKen)

26

TW: Panic attack 😛

Kenma made his way into the break room, excited for his second cup of coffee that morning. He stayed late again the night before and arrived slightly earlier than he wanted to. Coffee at this point was a necessity.

Walking into the break room, Kenma saw Tsukishima pouring Himself coffee. Out of all of Kenmas employees, Tsukishima was the one he saw the least often. It made sense since most days Kenma didn't get in until the afternoon. By that time, Yaku was working the front desk.  Kenma would stay late until everyone left or when it was just him and Oikawa left behind.

"Morning Tsukishima," Kenma said to the taller yet younger boy.

Tsukishima turned towards Kenma, noticing him walking into the room. "Morning." Neither of them knew what to say. The silence was desirable since they were both the quiet type, but this felt more awkward than desirable. That was how Kenma usually felt with Tsukishima. Some days the quiet between them was ok other days, it felt like something needed to be said. Today just so happened to be awkward.

"Oh yeah, someone came in today wanting to talk to you. I told them to return later since you weren't here."

Kenma nodded and finished filling his extra big cup with coffee."Alright. Thanks."

Tsukishima hummed in response as Kenma made his way back into his studio. Kenma planned on working on the painting of Oikawa. The painting was coming along nicely, and having Oikawa with him all the time helped him in being able to get it just the way he wanted. Kenma sat the coffee down beside him and got ready to continue on the portrait.

...

Later in the day, Kuroo joined Kenma in his studio. The plan was that Kenma would have his meeting, and Kuroo would head out to get some food for the both of them. Kenma appreciated everything that Kuroo did for him, everything all of his boys did for him. Without all of them, he probably would have died of starvation long ago.

Both Kenma and Kuroo were sitting in the studio. Kenma kept his focus directly on the painting in front of him. Kenma didn't want to make a single mistake on the highlights in Oikawa's eyes. He tightened the grip his left hand had on his right to keep him stable. Nothing was going to let him mess this up, even if his eyes burned from the intense glaring at the canvas.

As he was about to place a new stroke, a knock sounded through the room, pulling him from his trance. A frown replaced his intense focus."You're pouting Kitten," Kuroo remarked before turning towards the door. "Come in!" He shouted.

The door creaked, and Yaku peeked his head inside. "Someone's here for you." Kenma nodded, setting the paintbrush into his glass of water. He straightened his back out, allowing it to loosen up from hunching over for the past few hours. The cracking of his spine echoed throughout the room.

"You really need to fix your posture," Kuroo scolded. Kenma shrugged and pushed himself off of the ground. He never really thought too hard about his posture as long as there was no discomfort, then did it matter?

Kenma made his way towards the door. "Hey Kenma wait a sec!" Before stepping out, Kenma turned towards his older boyfriend. "I love you," Kuroo said with a goofy grin on his face.

Kenma sat for a moment with a soft smile replacing his previous pout. "I love you too." He began turning away before looking Kuroo back dead in the eyes. "Don't forget my apple pie." With that said, he left the room, closing the door behind him.

Kenma made his way to the front of the building smiling to himself. He began walking out to the entrance. A figure of someone he knew too well stood there waiting for him. The smile fell from his lips.

Kenma backed up from the archway leading out. His chest tightened up, he couldn't see her. not today. not now. Tight pressure gripped his chest, knocking all the air from his lungs. Kenma stumbled back before running back into his studio. Why was she there?

Quickly he stumbled through the door, slamming it behind him. Every breath he took in cut off halfway, he desperately attempted to catch a full breath. Every time he was failing. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe. Why can he not breathe?

His body trembled as the tears unwillingly fell from his eyes. Everything was collapsing around him, and the walls are closing in suffocating him.

With every breath, he draws in the tears begin to fall harder. He cant breathe but knows he needs to breathe. Desperately his hands claw at his chest, attempting to loosen the chains strangling his lungs.

The world around him blurs through wet eyes, and broken sobs release from his throat. Kenma fails to see the body move in front of him.

"..nma, hey it... breath kitt...Focus..voice"

It takes a while before Kenma process the voice speaking. Kenma's eyes fall heavy after the sobs decrease. Finally, he registers the voice next to him. After minutes of listening to the calming words, Kenma takes a satisfying breath.

"Kenma, you're ok. I'm right here, ok?" Kenma nods, not entirely knowing who's with him. He worries if he opens his eyes again everything will be too much. Kenma attempts to relax his body, a few strangled sobs still crawling out every few seconds. A calm hand places itself on his back, soothing the trembles further.

Slowly breathing comes easier. They both sit on the cold floor, allowing Kenma to return to a somewhat calmer state. Giving him all the time he needs for the crushing weight of the world to lighten.

The person beside him waits patiently, soothing him softly with his kind words.

Finally, Kenma opens his eyes and is presented with his tall, messy black haired boyfriend sitting with him on the studio floor.

"Feeling better?" Kuroo asked, still rubbing his hand up and down Kenma's back. Kenma straightens himself to a sitting position, his ribs stretch out in the process. It takes a few seconds to process the question asked but nods once he does.

"Good, good." Kuroo pauses a moment, unsure if he should continue. Ultimately he decides to keep going. "Kitten, can you tell me what happened." Kenma bites his lip. The tears returned with the thought of that lady. "Hey, it's ok. You don't need to answer, it's ok." Kuroo ran a hand through Kenmas hair in an attempt to ease the younger. 

Kuroo understands not to push him any further, not wanting to stress him more than he already is. They sit for longer, and Kenma slowly made his way into his boyfriend's lap, holding him tightly.

Kuroo was glad that his younger boyfriend was calming down and felt safe in his arms. The relaxing atmosphere shattered in an instant with a firm knock at the door.

Kuroo's teeth clenched as nails dug into his side. The grip on Kenma tightened, and Kuroo brought a hand to brush through Kenmas soft hair. "We don't have to answer," Kuroo whispered into the younger ear. "You're ok, I'm with you, and nothing can hurt you." Kuroo kissed Kenmas temple between words. "I'm right here." Kenma nods, tightening his hold on Kuroo.

They sit there and stay there. Kenma felt better knowing nothing could hurt him with Kuroo by his side.