Who Is Who? (Cate Blanchett x Female OC)

"Australia!"

"Who is Who?"

Chapter 10

!NOT PROOFREAD!

Cordelia didn't particularly like Australia. The animals, weather, cities - they weren't for her. Yet now it felt like the best place to be at. Like it was asking her to book the closest flight.

Why so?

She felt immensely guilty. The past few days, even with her sleeping meds, she felt restless. Cate wouldn't leave her mind. Cordelia would think back to and cherish each moment spent with Cate from a fresh perspective. The brunette didn't blame her anymore, so much so she felt like she never even did. Yet the harm was done. She had to say sorry one way or another.

Even if Cate told her not to blame herself, Cordelia couldn't help it. She finally acknowledged the fact that she was acting like the victim when it was always Cate that was suffering. She was numbed, she was forcefully taken advantage of and then left without any insight of what happened - not Cordelia. The girl tried hard to put herself in Cate's shoes but she solely could not. That's how she realized Cate must've undergone much more than Cordelia ever did.

After three restless evenings passed, Cordelia decided on her next move.

"Is it that crucial, honey? Please, think about it!" Helena aimed to make her daughter reconsider, but the latter was set on her goal. "Christmas is a family holiday. I love Cate with my whole heart but I haven't seen you in such a long time and now you leave?" She remained persistent.

Cordelia let out a panted breath as she nibbled on her breakfast. "Mum, how else can I apologize? I just feel that I have to be there now. Like...you know, a gut feeling?" She described, leaving the fork in her food, having lost her appetite from such an early banter with her mother.

Cordelia was prepared for another yell from her mother, but that never came. Instead, when the girl opened her eyes, she saw her mother deep in her thoughts, with guilt washing her face.

"Mum?" She queried cautiously.

Silence.

"Mom..?"

Only Helena's slow breath was audible. Other than that, the mother wasn't even opening her mouth to reply.

"Mother?"

Regardless of how many more times Cordelia called Helena's name, the latter did not answer. Not even a mumble! Nor a nod - or, well, anything! The girl was frightened that she somehow paralyzed her mother! Although giving the current situation it was impossible, the thought still lingered in her head. How could it not?

Helena always had this...odd thing about her. She was weird, and that probably should not be taken lightly. Sometimes the woman just seemed to completely zone out. Like she was never in the room. Cordelia still noticed Helena's eyes moving and inspecting the world around her, but it was as if she wasn't seeing the things other people did.

Cordelia once mentioned it to her therapist, who told her it might be the first symptoms of psychosis or maybe even the link to Cordelia's illness. Maybe that's how she got it. The brunette liked to brush it away like it wasn't true. But like many things, it never left her mind. That was the thing with Cordelia, she just sometimes could not let go of things.