ariana 💗 "Mama getting high up in the kitchen.. Daddy wasn't there he was missing, nobody was even there to listen. I kept all my problems and feelings hidden. I put the blame on me" - Layton Greene
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"Ari, Mommy's on the floor again" I heard my sister Kayla say, I sighed and put my pen down while getting up and walking out my room into the kitchen. I seen my mother passed out on the floor with a needle in her hand, I blinked my tears away and told my sister to go get our next door neighbor Mrs. Brewster. She ran out the kitchen and I kneeled down stared at my mother, a few seconds later Kayla came back with Mrs. Brewster.
"I got it from here Ari, you go pack you and your sisters things while I call the ambulance" She said and I nodded while grabbing my sisters hand and walking to the room that we shared with her twin. We lived in a two bed room apartment with our mom, we could barley pay rent sometimes, barley had food in the house and the water was cold when we took showers.
"Is mommy going to be okay?" My other sister, Jayla asked, I chewed on my bottom lip while stuffing my clothes in a black duffel bag.
"I don't know Jay" I said and she sighed while packing her clothes, I looked at my other sister who had was packing her clothes as well. My sisters are identical twins, they're both 11 years old. We have the same mom but different dads, both of our dads up and left when we were born. When we were finished packing our clothes we walked next door to Mrs. Brewsters house and waited for our Auntie to come pick us up. She didn't have any kids and she loved us, when she heard what was going on she immediately took us into her care. My mom raised us the best she could until she couldn't anymore, she started dating all these bad men and started staying out all night and coming home drunk or coked up. I've seen things I shouldn't have seen at a young age.
When I turned 10 years old, my mom moved us out of Chicago and to Atlanta. My mom started to really let herself go... she was dating this guy named Jack who was so violent towards her especially when he was drunk. He tried to rape me but my big brother Kross walked in and the guy shot Kross. My mom didn't even do anything about it, she told me it was my fault Kross was dead and I believed her. Jack put a gun to my moms head one night threatening to kill her if she didn't let him touch me, she was so high off of drugs that she told him to go ahead and rape me, he did just that. I was only 10 years old, I screamed and cried for him to stop but he didn't. He's dead now, my neighbors Dad killed him when I told him what happened.
I was born in 1999 and the twins were born in 2004, I basically helped my mom raise my sisters at a young age, barley got to experience my teenage years. During the morning my mom would be sober enough to spend time with us but once the night time hit she would make my cousins watch us so she could go get high with whomever would get high with her. My cousins would invite boys over and they would try to touch me, when I told my cousins what happened they would jump me and I mean JUMP me as in beat the fuck out of me until I was bloody. One of them left a permanent scar on my forehead. I told my mom what happened when she was sober enough to listen and she ended up asking our next door neighbor to watch us up until I was 16 and the twins were 11 years old.
Mrs. Brewster was our next door neighbor and she is a blessing from God. She's from Harlem, NY and moved to Atlanta a couple years back. She had a son who was 2 years older than me, his name is David but he liked to be called Dave. He was so cute and I had a crush on him but he never noticed because other girls had his attention. We went to the same high school and his mom dropped us off at school, people would give me dirty looks and call me all types of names. Throughout my whole high school years I only had three friends. Diontae, Jayda and Tabitha. Diontae and I knew each other since 8th grade, I met Jayda and Tabitha my Sophomore year of high school. I got my first job working at a diner at the age of 16, I saved up every check to make sure my sisters had school clothes and made sure we had some food in the house. I worked as many hours as I could to make sure my sisters didn't go hungry. I could barley pay the rent but Mrs. Brewster helped me with that.
I told myself when I turn 18, I'm going to get me and my sisters out of here and look for my own place but unfortunately that didn't happen.. on my 17th birthday my mom saw me looking at apartments, she cussed me out and her new boyfriend tried to touch the twins but I wouldn't allow that, the twins were so scared they locked themselves in the closet. He ended up breaking it and tried to grab them but I hit him with a glass bottle, He turned around and started hitting on me then dragged me outside causing our neighbors to come outside, including Dave... I was so embarrassed. I was all bruised up and the cops came, good thing CPS wasn't called because Mrs.Brewster told them she was our Aunt and they believed her. The next day we went back home and stayed in our rooms until Kayla went to get water from the kitchen and that's when she saw our mother passed out on the floor from the drug she had injected into her skin and that's when we ended up staying with our Auntie Shirley. She ended up passing away due to cancer and I took the responsibility of taking care of me and my sisters.
We ended up being homeless for a couple of months due to me not being able to pay the rent on my Aunties house, I met this guy named Herbert. He let us stay with him & he treated my sisters like they were his but he would cheat on me a lot. I couldn't complain because he was the only person that took us in. One night I was so fed up that I spazzed on him and he put his hands on me, that same night I found out I was pregnant with his child... he kicked us out and Tae's grandma took us in till I had enough money to find my sisters, my son and I a place to live. When I turned 19 years old Tae and I moved in together and we split all the bills. It was me, Tae, my sisters and my son.
That was years ago... I'm 23 now and the twins are 17 going on 18 years old and my son is 2 years old going on 3 . I have full custody of my sisters and I've done everything in my power to make sure they don't have to go through what I've been through.. see what I've seen, feel how I've felt.
Life could be easier but when I think about everything we've gon through I put The Blame On Me.
