2. Are you still mine? (Tokio Hotel/Tom Kaulitz Fanfiction)

Chapter Thirty Four. Mind, Body and Spirit.

I feel worse than I did on Monday! I cannot speak, no joke, my voice is gone and oh my god, I swear to you my ears are on fire along with my throat!

But I have a moral responsibility to upload, because I said I would and here I am...

I didn't spell check, because seriously I'm uploading and that's already an effort.

SO YOU BETTER ENJOY THE HELL OUT OF THIS AND COMMENT (please, that always makes my day) AND VOTE!

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I walked the dogs holding the leashes on one hand and Günther on his little car. He looked comfortable staring at the grey sky above us as I pushed the car and the dogs walked slowly at my pace. I smiled at him. He looked so much like Tom, it was weird, even after being less than two months old, and he was already looking a lot like his dad.

I remembered dad, I hadn’t gone to visit his grave since the burial more than a year ago, I knew people remembered their loved one on the anniversary of their deaths or on their birthdays but I didn’t want to do that; I hated to remember he was dead and I found no reason to celebrate his birthday now either. So I just remembered my diseased loved ones whenever I had to. I decided to take Günther to dad. I left the dogs home and drove to the graveyard with Günther sitting on the back in his little chair.

I picked him up and walked through the tombs, I stopped in front of my dad’s one. It was next to Jazmin’s grave as Ulrike’s was further away next to her daughter’s. I looked down and talked to Günther.

“That was your granddad. He was awesome…most of the time, but I didn’t realize until a couple years ago…” I felt tears on my eyes; these tears fell easily down my cheeks. “He would have loved you very much.” I kissed Günther’s nose as he giggled. “And Jazmin…” I chuckled. “She was crazy! You will never meet anyone quite like her…  She would have been like an older sister to you. She was lovely…” I closed my eyes. “She died too soon…”

I was holding Günther so close to me at such a high level that his little hand was able to touch my wet cheek as he reached out with his knit globes, it felt almost soothing.

“Ulrike would have taken you in so well…she loved us in her own way. She was so kind…” I kissed Günni’s hand over the globe. “You have a great set of guardian angels, you’re so lucky!”

After I calmed myself down I put Günther on his seat and drove back home. The road was clean today, but I knew in the next couple of months it’d start snowing again. I thought the boy would like it more in LA, where it was sunnier and the cold was never as extreme as it was here.

I played with Günther for a little while when we got home, I didn’t have anything to do right now, I was going to check out my mails to read Dasha’s little book. The thing was, she had told me about how she wanted so badly to write a book but not a “boring dramatic novel”, so instead she had written a short children’s book and decided on asking me to be the one to illustrate it. I wasn’t sure I would be able to do such work, but I was going to try and in order to do so I had a little man with me to make me look at things like a child would. So I played with Günther for as long as it took him to get sleepy and put him on his crib before going into the living room with the baby monitor in the coffee table and the laptop on my lap. I read through the short book quickly before I heard any movement in the baby’s room, I went into the kitchen and got the bottle for Günther, when I walked back into his room he was just looking up at the mobile Dylan had sent us. I looked down at the little chain in my wrist and then at the rings on my finger.