2. Are you still mine? (Tokio Hotel/Tom Kaulitz Fanfiction)

Chapter Five. Where is my mind?

My internet connection is doing that ugly thing so I'm sorry for the late update, thanks for reading and voting :) don't forget to leave a comment and tell me how this is going, okay?

Well thanks again, maybe enjoy the last part of the chapter?

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The next couple of days went on in a slow blur. It felt as if time stopped but things kept happening. Tom had made all the necessary things to get my family buried in Hamburg, I didn’t even want to begin to imagine how much paperwork that must have been, but he had done it and now I had to take Lily to sleep.

We’d been on a couple of planes but finally got to Hamburg in one piece, Lily was sleepy and the guys had gone to make the last arrangements for the burial. Simone and mom were home with my little sister and me.

“So you want to go to bed now?” I smiled down at the blonde girl that sat on my lap with her head resting on my chest. She nodded and I kissed the top of her head before I turned to the two women sitting across from me in the living room, the furniture was the same it had always been, but it felt lonely as ever. “I’ll be right back.” I carried Lily and walked up the stairs slowly.

“Where’s Jazz?” She asked me as I put her in her bed. We both looked at the empty bed on the other side of the room. “And mommy and daddy?”  Her eyebrows were furrowed in confusion.

I sat next to her on the bed and turned the night light on, it was barely getting dark outside but I knew she needed the little light on to sleep.

“Did dad ever tell you where grandma is?” I looked at Lily’s lively eyes. She nodded quickly and pointed up with her finger. “Yes, you know how?” She looked side to side and pouted before shaking her head.

“They’re up there,” I pointed up too, “in the sky, Lily, they’re stars. You know when do stars go away?” She shook her head no. “Never. Stars are always in the sky, but you can only see them at night.”

“Are they coming back someday?” She looked worried.

“Just like grandma, Lily. They’re up there for good.” Lily pouted and put both of her hands on mine; I turned my hand and grabbed her two little hands.

“That makes me sad.” Her voice quivered. And I pulled her into a hug, allowing her to hold on to my neck with those little hands of hers as she let out a couple of tears.

“That makes me sad too.” I confessed. “But they’re still with us.” I said to her the things I wanted to believe. “Lily, don’t you ever forget:” I pulled away and cleaned her pale cheeks as I spoke, she had a few freckles around her nose, “they’re here, in your heart and in mine, and as long as you love them they’ll be here with us.” I held Lily for a little longer while she fell asleep, it didn’t take long though, she was tired and my words seemed to calm her down.

I walked down into the living room again and sat with mom next to me. This time I was held by her.

“Do you think she’ll ever forget Jazz?” I asked mom.

“Have you forgotten?” She asked me, which sounded harsh.

“No.”

“There’s your answer.” Mom got up and Simone followed her. “Let’s get you eating.”

“We’ve heard you’re giving my boys a hard time.” Simone said humorously. I wasn’t ready for jokes.

“I’m sorry.” I replied and put my hands on my knees as I pushed myself up from the couch.