Loving Our Journey - (MewGulf, Canon Compliant)

Philosophy of Love

--- A month later ---

Mew's PoV

We were watching Your Name, which both liked very much. Talking about the plot led us to talk about destiny.

'I don't believe in fate, Phi. I don't like thinking that our whole lives are already determined. Do you know why?' I shook my head.

'Because if there were fate, it means that you don't have the ability to make things happen. You don't need to do anything, because your destiny will reach you sooner or later, and you don't have any saying in your happiness or unhappiness.'

'So, you don't think that meeting each other was anything special,' I said, a little disappointed.

'Oiii, no, Boo! It's exactly the opposite. Meeting each other was a miracle. We are so much at the mercy of chance that thousands of ancestors had to make millions of decisions that led to our existences. And then, in our lives, we had to make thousands of other decisions that led us to go to TharnType auditions. For example, if you hadn't decided to follow your dreams and you had settled with engineering, we wouldn't have met, and we wouldn't be here together now.'

'Ok, I see your point. But If you had been casted for another series before TharnType, then we wouldn't have met either.'

'That's right, but the fact of not having been casted for another series before is the product of the same decisions that allowed me to be casted for the role of Type.'

'I don't know. Maybe I'm too romantic, that's why I like the idea of fate. To think that we were predestined to be with each other like this is thrilling and comforting,' I said pensively.

'Oi, but this point of view is very romantic too!' he protested, 'I believe that you need to live your life aware that every chance could be the last one. You need to be always alert to be able to grab it. You also need to be very wise to make the right decisions if you want to be happy. You need to educate yourself to identify the best chances for you.'

'And how is that romantic, Nong? It sounds so practical,' I retorted, a little sulky.

'Imagine that I hadn't decided to act in a BL. We wouldn't have met. And even if we had, we wouldn't have spent so much time together, so our relationship would have been completely different, right?'

'Yes, ok. We wouldn't be here, but...'

'No 'buts'. Let me finish first.'

'Ok,' I said with a fond smile, amused and surprised by how passionate about this topic he was being.

'Do you think that the moment I felt attracted to you I accepted my feelings right away? It was quite difficult to make the decision of letting go the possibility of having an easier life with my ex-girlfriend, just to chase another possibility: the one of being happier next to you.'

'I know. I still feel guilty sometimes...'

 'Nonsense.  I took the chances and I made the decision I thought that would be better for both of us, because I believed in us and I still do. And yet, you made me work reeeaally hard to convince you that my decision was worthy. I was patient and I didn't give up because I knew that becoming a couple would make us happier. I fought for us, and now I'm winning. You can call it fate if you want, but for me, the fact of us being together is more like the consequence of millions of chances and opportunities that were taken wisely at the right time and in the right place by the right people, and even a bit of luck. And the amount of tiny little things that could have been different is so incommensurable that being here today, next to you, is just a miracle.'

Suddenly I felt emotion welling up inside me. I was fascinated by this idea. He was right. Thinking of fate doing all the work was too lazy. We ourselves are the only people who can choose wisely our paths and grab the opportunities to be happy. And it was true. He had fought for us, a lot. More than me. 

 'Thank you,' I said almost without thinking. I was feeling very touched. 'It's true. You fought for us and I'm sorry for making things difficult for you in the past. I promise that I'll always choose to fight for us from now on.'

'You'd better. Imagine an infinite night sky, with millions of tiny stars. Every star is a missed opportunity or a wrong choice that would lead you to a completely different path in your life. There is only one constellation that leads you to happiness with Gulf Kanagut. if you don't work enough, if you don't make smart choices, then you'll end up lost in another constellation that perhaps will lead you to a path of unhappiness. For me, love is a chance and a miracle. Phi, do you know how difficult it is to love someone and be loved in return, like, at the same time?'

When I heard him drop the 'L' word, something in me broke like a dam. 

 'Are you saying that you...' I didn't dare to finish the sentence. He looked at me with so much sweetness that I melted.

'Of course, my silly Boo. Didn't you know? I love you.'

'I love you too,' I said tearing up, trying not to choke with the lump in my throat. 

He smiled broadly and said 'I know,' and kissed me softly on the lips while he rocked me in his arms, letting his love cover me as a warm fluffy blanket that gave me peace and comfort.

 When had my baby grown up so much? I was amazed.  Why was I so lucky to love and be loved by such a wise and incredible man? 

                                                                       THE END

_______________________________________________________________________

Thank you for reading till the end, specially if you came back after a year without updates. I'm so sorry I made you wait for so long.  Originally, I wanted to write the smut but I didn't like how it turned out, so I just erased it.  I was feeling very self-concious about the whole story. Actually, I've had this chapter written for a long time but I couldn't make myself publish it. I hope you have enjoyed it.  I want to thank everyone who left kind comments encouraging me to finish this fic, and specially my coach-nim, Ash.  Than you all! See you around!