Step Brothers

Part Eight

“When I grow up I want to be famous, wanna be a star, wanna me in movies! When I grow up, I wanna see the world, drive nice cars I wanna have groupies!”

Griping the steering wheel tightly I glanced over at Luke who was framing his face in the passenger seat. Gritting my teeth I reached out and turned the dial on the radio, changing the station.

“Ohhh I love this song!” Luke cried, “I was fine before you walked into my life! Cause you know it’s over, before it began! Keep your drink, just give me the money just you and your hand tonight!”

“Jesus, shut up.” I grumbled changing the station again.

“Oh my Goodness.” Luke breathed, “This song! It’s so… Well I, thought I knew you! Thinkin, that you were true! Guess I, I couldn’t trust cause your bluff time is up cause I’ve had enough! You were, there….”

Frowning, I changed the station.

“Britney!” Luke moaned, “Baby can’t you see, I’m calling. A guy like you should wea….”

Annoyed,  I hastily changed the station again filling the car with some strange old timey, hypnotic song sung by some dude with a whiny voice.

“Ew.” I muttered, reaching to change it again.

“NO!” Luke shouted, startling me.

“What?” I demanded.

“Leave it.” He whispered, “Please.”

Glancing over at him and finding him staring at me pleadingly, I rolled my eyes.

“Whatever dude.”

Smiling he face forward once again. Looking at him out of the corner of my eye I watched as he closed his eyes, and resting his forehead against the cool glass of the window, began to sing quietly under the breath.  

“I’m gonna be like you, Dad, you know I’m gonna be like you. And  the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon. Little boy blue and the man in the moon, when you coming home Dad? I don’t know when,  but we’ll get together then, you know we’ll have a good time then.”

“Dude.” I laughed, “This song sucks.”

Reaching out I changed the station filling the car with some crappy pop song.

“Put it back!” Luke cried.

“No.” I snapped, “You have no music taste.”

“Calum!” I shouted, lunging forward.

“Hey!” I yelled, swerving the car and narrowly avoiding crashing into another car, “What the fuck is wrong with you, you freak?”

“Put it back!” Luke cried, getting hysterical, “Put it back, put it back!”

“No!” I spat, “That song sucks. My car, my music.”

“Please Calum!” Luke yelled tugging his hair, “I’m missing it!”

“Who cares?” I laughed.

“Me!” Luke sobbed, a tear rolling down his cheek, “That’s my Dad’s song! I’m missing it!”

Surprised, I reached out and changed the station back, just as the song ended.

We’ll get together then Dad,  we’re gonna have a good time then.

Sitting back in his seat, Luke wiped his eyes on the back of his wrist.

“I-um-I’m sorry.” I mumbled, “I didn’t know.”

“He used to sing it.” He replied, “When I was a little. When he would come home.”

I glanced over at Luke, then looked back at the road.

“Was he away a lot?” I asked.

“He was in the army.” Luke answered.

“Oh.” I said slowly, “Unsure of what to say. Th-that’s….I didn’t know.”

Wiping his nose on his arm, Luke nodded.

“Where you young?” I questioned, “When he.. you know?”

“Died?” Luke whispered.

Wincing, I glanced at him  and nodded before looking back out at the road.

“No.” he replied, “It was two years ago.”

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled.

“You wanna know the worst part?” Luke sighed, fiddling with his fingertips.

Glancing over at him I waited for him to go on.

“I was home.” He said quietly, “In my room. I was sick and stayed home from school he didn’t know. If he did….I…I don’t think he would have done it.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, “He didn’t die fighting?”

Poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue, Luke shook his head.

“He lost one of his legs.” He mumbled, leaning his head back against the headrest, “And he went deaf. He had to retire. He got bad after that.”

Feeling sick I waited for Luke to continue and wished he wouldn’t.

“He had these flashbacks.” Luke muttered, “And nightmares, he was sad….So sad….I-I heard it the bang. He was just there, on the floor, there was blood, so much blood. It was so slow, I just remember thinking that I wanted him to die, that I wanted it to end, it must have hurt so bad.”

“Luke.” I whispered, “Stop it-it’s okay you don’t have to tell me.”

“I told him I loved him.” Luke choked out, “But he couldn’t hear me, he was deaf. I don’t know why I said it, I just sat there…. Talking to him, like he could hear me. He couldn’t.”

“Luke.” I mumbled, “I’m sure he knew.”

Closing his mouth, he rested his forehead against the window once again.

“I’m sorry.” I said carefully, “Really, really sorry.”

Luke nodded.

Turning back to the road we continued the rest of the drive in silence. Pulling into the driveway I killed the engine and took a deep breath before speaking.

“How do you feel?” I asked.

“Shitty.” Luke mumbled.

“Good.” I mumbled, “That means you’re coming down.”

Luke nodded.

“We’re going to go inside now.” I sighed, “Just be quiet and go straight to our room okay?”

Nodding again, Luke climbed out of the car and shuffled up the driveway to the house.

Getting out myself and closing my door, then his, I followed him into the house, however was stopped as I passed the living room.

“Calum?” My Dad called out.

“Yes?” I sighed, poking my head into the room.

“Did you two have fun?” he questioned.

“No.” I admitted.

“Did you at least get along?” Liz sighed.

Hesitating for a minute, I nodded, “Yeah.”