Inhumanity

Chapter 5

When I wake up I have to stop myself from crying, my cheeks are damp and I frown, I've never cried in my sleep before. I strip my bedding and sheets and place them in a corner. Someone will be round to clean the room after I've left. By the time I'm gone they'll be nothing left to prove that I ever lived here. My stomach churns at that thought. I am nothing but footprints on a beach... I kneel down and shove everything out from under my bed, I grab a compass and wriggle under. With the sharp bit I scratch in stiff writing a message out for the next occupant. Nolite te bastardes carborundorum, it was a like in a book, carved into a wall that the main character discovered. She held onto it as her mantra through all her struggles and I hope that whoever discovers it will also find hope in it.

There's a timid knock on my door and I wriggle back out quickly, Javi leans against the door frame looking a little worn out. He looks past me "still not packed yet" he observes. I shake my head "no, just got up. Shutdowns put my inner clock out of whack. Come back in an hour or two and I should have finished" I say. He shakes his head "many hands make light work". I smile slightly "alright but don't start complaining later, you brought this upon yourself" I tease. He enters the room and looks around "what are you going to put into storage" he asks.

I think for a moment "most of my stuff from before, when I was in the labs. Never really gives me any good memories" I explain. I grab my suitcase an put it in my bed, I then go to the wardrobe and grab everything that I have kept apart and unhook them from the hangers. My pyjamas, lab dress, training overalls they're definitely going into storage. Javi goes over to my guitar "I'll be taking that uptrain, could you put it in its case and all my sheet music and books into a cardboard box, there's one under my bed." I ask. He nods quick and sets to work with the task. I go back to the wardrobe and spot something I've forgot was even there, it's the long ocean blue evening dress. I take it out and am about to fold that into the suitcase when Javi notice "where did you get that" he asks cheerfully. I snort "one of the tests Wilford put me through. I was to attend one of his shareholder dinners and try to blend in with the guests" I fold it carefully and shove it in there "he never quite believed I was capable of passing" I swallow thickly, self pity is never faltering. I grab another suitcase and fold away the rest of my clothes that I'm keeping. I sigh "did you bring much" I ask curiously. He shrugs "had to leave most of it but I made sure to fill my two suitcases worth of things I really wanted to take with me" he says. He frowns as he picks up a small book, "didn't think you were the spiritual type" I smirk when I realise what he's found, my bible. He flicks through the pages, sections highlighted, small notes and drawings scrawled in the corners, pages marked. I tilt my head "the first book Wilford let me have", i hold my hand out for it "I'd like to keep it out" i shove it into one of my boxes.

I move onto sorting through the rest of my books, I didn't have many to begin with so I get to keep most of them apart from a handful. He finishes with my music and gestures to the posters on my wall "what about these" he asks. I bite my nail "uhh I'll take the beach and wave one but the others will have to go to storage." He starts to take them down and I move onto my bedside table, I put my alarm clock into storage as well as my speaker. I pick up the two photo frames, there was one of me playing my guitar that Melanie took when I wasn't aware and the other has me and him stood side by side, I'm holding a bunch of flowers and smiling shyly and he's standing with his arm on my shoulder "do you miss him?" I jump in shock as Javi asks suddenly. I shrug "if I'm being honest yes, I think about him every day when I wake up. We went through a lot together and he kept me going and yet I still couldn't save him." I say. We fall back into silence.

I place the photo into storage and the guitar one I'm taking with me. I also put my record player and records into a cardboard box and mark it for storage as well. My room is completely bare and I take a deep breath "think that's everything" I then realise I forgot to collect my bathroom stuff, I dash in and pick up my make up bag, hair stuff, wash bag and the other bag that contains my skin patches and self repair kit. I shove them into the suitcase and shut the lid locking it securely. I do the same with the other one but this one I secure with padlocks and straps for safety measures. I leave it on my bed with my sheets with a sticky note stuck to it saying 'for storage'.