KATE
I don't even allow my emotions to surface during the achingly slow elevator ride down to the lobby. I'm so tired and so cold, both inside and out. I just want to go home and crawl into bed for the rest of the week, avoiding all of my responsibilities. Avoiding everything, really.
But the minute that the heavy metal doors of the elevator slide open to reveal the lobby, they also reveal something else that I clearly won't be avoiding.
Luke's face is flushed red and his chest is heaving; he clearly made a mad dash down the stairs to beat me here. "Kate," he pants, holding up a hand to stop me as if I would walk past him. "Wait, just don't go yet."
"What?" I ask quizzically.
"Sorry, I- woah," he leans over bracing his hands on his knees and trying to catch his breath.
"Jesus, Luke," I say with a laugh. "Relax, I'm not leaving. What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he says, finally straightening up. "Nothing, it's just that Michael was right. You can't-we can't let you drive away right now," he says gesturing out at the falling snow. "It would be too-too... familiar." He runs his hands through his hair as I sigh.
"I can't stay, Luke," I say. "I promise I'll drive safe, okay? And I'll call you right when I get home. It's not even snowing that bad."
"Let me drive you," Luke bargains, his voice slightly pleading.
"Luke, no-"
"Then you're staying," he says firmly, grabbing onto my wrist.
"Are you serious?" I huff. He just raises his eyebrows, as if daring me to challenge him.
"Fine," I sigh. "Drive me."
Luke's hand releases its grip on my wrist and he steps back from me. "Wow," he murmurs.
"What?" I ask.
"You really don't want to be around Michael," he mumbles.
"Yeah, I really don't," I sigh. Before I can stop them, tears rise to my eyes and they are spilling over before I even notice them.
"Oh, Kate, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"
"It's fine," I cut him off, wiping my hand across my cheeks. "It's fine. Can we go now?" I plead.
"Yeah, yeah," Luke mumbles. He fumbles in his pocket for his keys as we walk out into the falling snow. I am secretly glad that Luke offered to drive; I hate driving in any type of poor weather and it would have taken me a solid hour to make the twenty minute drive myself. "We'll take my truck, okay? I can come get you later so you can get your car back. After the snow."
"Okay," I whisper. It's almost funny, the way that Luke has to lift me into the truck; it's so high off the ground. Almost funny, but I don't feel the humor. Once inside, heat pours from the air vents and it's much too hot. The air seems to be burning dust and I can't really draw breath, but I don't say anything.
"You okay?" Luke asks, once we've pulled onto the freeway.
"Not really," I say weakly.
"Is it really over?" He asks gently.
"I don't know," I sigh. "Yeah, I think it is."
"Is that what you want?" Luke asks.
"Of course not. But Michael's just... He has too many problems of his own. And he keeps letting them get in the way."
"Okay," Luke nods his head, seeming to think deeply. "But isn't that what relationships are about? You help each other through those problems?"
"Yeah, I guess." I fidget uncomfortably. "But it's usually not to the extreme level that Michael takes it. I've really just reached the end of my rope. I want to, but I can't do it anymore."
"But is that really who you are, Kate? You don't give up on people, do you?"
"Listen Dr. Phil, I appreciate the ride but I really don't want to even think about this right now," I groan.
"Okay," Luke laughs, keeping his eyes glued to the road.
"Why are you so concerned anyway?" I grumble. "I thought you wanted me and Michael to be broken up."
"Maybe I did, once," Luke shrugs. "I don't know. I don't know what I want anymore. Michael's not the only one who's fucked up, Kate. I'm a mess."
"I'm sorry," I whisper.
"Don't be," he shrugs nonchalantly again. "I think... I don't mean this to be rude or anything, but I think that when I was kind of chasing after you a little... I think it was because you were the first person in a long time who actually gave a shit about me."
"Oh," I breathe.
"And you're a pretty girl," Luke laughs. "But I see the way you and Michael are, and I think... I would be a real dick to try and ruin that."
"Were," I mumble.
"What?"
"The way me and Michael were," I correct him.
"Yeah, okay," Luke rolls his eyes. "Just don't be stupid, Kate. You have something worth fighting for."
"Yeah, I was fighting for it! I was the only one fighting for it!"
"Do you believe that people can change?" he asks.
"No."
"Well I do," he huffs.
"Well good for you," I snap.
"You're an irritating girl, you know that, Kate?"
"Yeah, I know," I half laugh.
"Great kisser, though," Luke smirks.
"Shut up!" I hit his arm and he laughs even louder, the tension in the overheated car finally broken.
Luke pulls into the parking lot of my apartment building, cutting the engine.
"I'll keep Michael at my place," he says. "Judging by the amount of alcohol he consumed yesterday, I don't think he'll be fit to leave for at least another day," Luke laughs.
"I really don't care what Michael does," I say nonchalantly, opening the door and literally jumping out of my seat.
"Just keep telling yourself that, Kate," Luke laughs.
"Thanks for the ride," I call, ignoring his remark. "Please call me when you make it back home."
"I will," Luke calls. With nothing more to say, I push all of my weight into closing the heavy door of his truck.
The snow is really coming down now, and there is a slushy mixture of ice and snow leading all the way up to the door of the lobby. As I make my way to the staircase, I hear the news anchor on the TV over the front desk warning people to stay off the roads. My heart stutters in my chest with fear for Luke. Really, I should have just stayed. What if he ends up hurt all because I was too weak to face Michael? I would never forgive myself. I shake it off, trudging up the stairs slowly and saying prayers to a God that I've never known too well for Luke's safe return.
When I finally reach my floor, I turn the corner and immediately stop in my tracks.
There are few things that could really and truly shock me these days, but this is one of them. She is one of them. Sitting in front of my apartment door, clearly awaiting my return. Wheelchair and all.
