I have a solid ten seconds to collect my thoughts before I have to go meet Ashton. My head is spinning and my heart is fluttering in the most uncomfortable way; my previously untamable emotions now so scattered that I couldn't round them up if I tried. My best bet is to just put this all out of my head, or at least try to. This is important, and I have to do it. For Michael.
Michael.
What would Michael think about the fact that I just kissed Luke?
No, Luke kissed me. Right? I didn't kiss him back. Did I? It was so fast. I didn't even know that he was kissing me until he was finished kissing me. Damn it! I don't have the time for this right now. I try my best to calm myself, and to stop my knees from shaking. There are greater matters at hand.
Ashton is waiting for me in the lobby as promised, and it is blessedly not awkward. Maybe the incident with Luke has numbed me to all feeling that could be coming from boys other than Michael, but Ashton seems to be... completely normal. I actually admire the ease with which he starts and holds conversation as we walk down to the café. I have never actually been here before, but Calum knew the place and selected it for a variety of reasons. Its proximity to my office, its central location, its perpetual business. We will be safe here, out in the open like this.
My eyes flicker to Calum and then away so fast that I just barely catch a glimpse of him. He has his laptop out, and earlier he instructed me to make sure that Ashton's back was to him. I walk a few feet in front of Ashton to ensure that he takes the seat facing away from Calum, but I find myself constantly looking over his shoulder at Calum, distracted. I take a deep breath and vow not to look at Calum as Ashton keeps talking.
I try to remember my job. Ask questions. "What are your parents like?" I blurt out at the first available opening. Calum's eyes meet mine and at first he looks startled, then annoyed. He jerks his head slightly, and I get it. I need to be a little more subtle.
"Erm... they're alright," Ashton laughs uncomfortably.
"Sorry," I flush. Normally I would offer an explanation, but this time I don't have one. I just have to keep talking. "Do you live with them, or do you live on your own?"
"I live with them," Ashton shrugs.
"How old are you?" I ask.
"I'm twenty. How old are you?"
"I'm twenty, too. Not like twenty two," I clarify. "I just meant that I am twenty also. Too."
Ashton is doing his best not to laugh at me, and out of the corner of my eye I can see Calum actually laughing at me.
"You're twenty," Ashton smiles.
"Yes," I give him a grateful smile. "Michael is twenty one." Calum's eyes angrily find my face, but I don't meet them. I know what they will convey. I was not supposed to bring up Michael.
"Is he?" Ashton mutters.
"Yeah," I say lamely.
"How old is Luke?" Ashton asks.
"He's twenty two."
"Twenty two or twenty also?" Ashton laughs.
"Actually twenty two," I laugh. We reach a lull in conversation and I struggle to bring it back. "Twenty is young to be working. Are you in college?"
"I graduated early," he explains. Holy shit. Really early.
"You must be a genius," I mumble.
"I am," he says. He says it so nonchalantly, but I see the realization dawn on his face that it was an odd thing to say. "Tell me about yourself," he says, making up for his awkward mistake.
"I'm... unextraordinary," I shrug, remembering having similar conversations with both Michael and Luke. "I'm in college, and I took this internship to get some extra money and college credit."
"Do you think you'll stay with the company?" He asks. I admire the way that he appears genuinely interested. But then I remember that he's the only one who doesn't know that this is a setup.
"I might," I shrug. "I didn't really plan on it, but I like it. And then, Michael..."
"You and Michael are together, right?" Ashton asks cautiously.
"Yes," I answer honestly, though it might be awkward.
"I think you two suit each other," he says, taking a sip from his coffee cup.
"Really?" I ask. Ashton nods with a small smile. "Not a lot of people think that."
"Why not?" He asks.
"I don't know. Michael and I... most people wouldn't put us together."
"I would," Ashton shrugs.
"You would? Why?"
"You balance each other out."
I stare at him for a moment. "I guess we do. Thanks, Ashton, that's really-"
Calum clears his throat loudly and I am suddenly jolted back to now, the reason I am here.
My slipup is covered by the waitress taking our orders, and I wrack my brain for another conversation topic that might be of use to us. Luckily, Ashton provides one for me.
"Are you going to the dinner party at the Clifford's this weekend?"
I groan out loud. "Not that I'm aware of. They literally have dinner parties every weekend."
"I've never been to one," Ashton laughs. "I'm going, just to see if it lives up to the hype."
"Maybe I'll be there," I incline my head. "I've never actually met Michael's parents."
"Me either," Ashton laughs. "But his dad knows my dad."
"Really? Is that how you got this job?" I ask. Maybe now we are getting somewhere.
"Maybe," Ashton says. I see a guard draw up in his eyes and I am immediately intrigued. He is looking at me as if he is wondering whether or not I can be trusted.
"Can I ask you something, Kate?"
"Of course," I tell him earnestly.
"Do I make you nervous?"
"I-what?"
"Do I make you nervous?" He repeats.
"Um... no," I lie.
"Really?" He asks. I nod my head. Ashton glances over his shoulder at Calum before flashing me a grim and knowing smile. "Then why are you interviewing me while your friend sits at the next table over and pretends not to be listening?"
