not in the way i'm supposed to- byler

-1-

‼️TW‼️: slurs and bullying

Mike knew he couldn't lie to himself anymore. he knew when Will told him that he was moving to away. he knew when they spent the last 2 months hanging out every spare chance they got. he knew when he was helping load load the Byers stuff on to the u-haul truck. he knew when El said she loved him backed and kissed him. he knew watching Jonathan's car slowly go out of sight with Will in it.

just because he knew, doesn't mean he wants to accept it.

if Mike was being honest, he wouldn't care if he was gay. but out of all the people he could've fell for did it really have to be his child hood best friend who most definitely did not like him back. that's the part he couldn't accept. the look of disgust on Will's face if he ever told him how he felt. the unbearable pain that would cause Mike is a pain he doesn't want to imagine.

as Mike biked home from the now abandoned Byers house the only thing he could think about was Will. the fact that even though his cheeks were stained with tears and his eyes were puffy from crying he still looked beauti- jesus Wheeler get a grip he internally scolded himself. hopefully by the the time Will's birthday comes around these thoughts will be gone. maybe some space is good.

~5 months later~

the thoughts did not go away. they actually got worse. it was now march 20th and mike was supposed to go over to the Byers new residence tomorrow, and stay over for a week. fuck. Mike was excited that he got to see his best friend for a week after not seeing him for 5 months but not at the same time for couple reasons.
1. that fight from summer was not resolved.
2. Mike still had those thoughts about his best friend that he's not supposed to be having.
3. El. i know that sounds rude but Mike isn't attracted to her anymore and he's been trying to rack his brain for a way to say that with out hurting her feelings but he cant. when they talk on the phone its pretty normal almost like 2 friends talking and Mike liked that. there was no 'I love You's" involved it was just them talking and Mike wanted to keep it that way. 'cause sure on the phone they acted like friends and stuff but seeing El in person might change some things.

Mike had to get packed and ready because he was leaving early in the morning. so he did that he took a shower, packed some clothes and stuff and was now doing some homework and trying to forget about his own thoughts.

______________

Wills day at school was shit. he got home with El trailing behind him asking a million and one questions.

"who did that to you? what was that note in your locker? are you okay?" Will knew she was trying to figure out what happened but he just couldn't help but feel frustrated. at himself, at the world, at everyone. "why aren't you answering me?" El asked frustrated to because her brother wasn't giving her answers. Will stopped and turned around.

"bullies gave me this cut when they pushed me and i fell on a rock. and here's the stupid note." Will put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and shoved it in El's hands. he tried to say it calmly as possible but he was clearly frustrated and you could hear it in his voice. "i'm gonna go to bathroom and clean this cut up." Will said turning around and heading up the stairs and down the hall to the bathroom.

El stood right there and uncrumpled the paper revealing a news article with Will's face on it. the heading read "THE BOY WHO CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD" in big letters. but Will's face was scribble out and any open space on the article was filled with hurtful words like fag, fairy, zombie boy, etc.

this made El's blood boil. there was nothing wrong with Will so why were people so mean to him. a little while ago Will explained to El what those words meant and why people perceive being gay as a bad thing. El didn't care because she think people should just be able to love who they want but not everyone thinks like that.

school wasn't great for her either. she got call name like weird and stupid because she was "homeschooled" her whole life. but none of those things were true because El was actually really smart and passing all of her classes and she wasn't weird either. i mean she was in the lab for a good part her life but without her powers she was pretty normal. the only thing that was "weird" about her was the fact that her english wasn't the greatest but it isn't even that bad.

but when the bullies would call Will those names it hurt more because what they were saying was true. El knew that Will was gay because that's why Will had to explain to her what being gay was. also the bullies never physically hurt El. Will has been tripped and pushed and there wasn't really any reason for it beside that the boys small frame made him easy to push around. literally.

Will was in the bathroom cleaning up his cut trying to figure out an excuse to tell his mom and Mike when he comes over tomorrow. Will had figured out a way to hide the bullying from his mom and he had just never told Mike about it either. when they were on the phone and Mike would ask about school would just say that it was fine and that he was passing which wasn't fully a lie, he was passing all his classes.

Will walked out of the bathroom and straight (haha) to his room to do his homework. he felt bad for snapping at El a little but he couldn't help it. he took a pause from his homework and went and apologized to El. he went down the stairs to the living room were El was sitting watching tv.

"hey" Will said startling El a little.

"jeez, hey" she said calm with her hand over her heart.

"sorry for scaring you, and sorry for snapping at you a little earlier." Will apologized as he went to sit next to El.

"its okay. i get it." she said, she felt bad that Will had to go through that stuff at school. he really didn't deserve but when he would ask her to keep it a secret she would. it was the least she could do, right? Will stayed silent watching whatever El had put on the tv. "well hey Mike is coming over tomorrow staying this week and then the day after is your birthday so that's good." El said trying to cheer the boy up a little.

"yeah. i guess" he said glumly.

"are you not excited for Mike to come over?" El asked, a little confused.

"yes- i mean no, i just i dont know. we didn't really leave things on the best of notes i guess." Will managed to come up with even he didn't even really know himself why he was so nervous for Mike to come over.

well he knew why but he couldn't tell that to El who was Mikes girlfriend. Mike is straight and dating El. and what Will said wasn't completely a lie. they didn't leave things on good terms really, but it wasn't the full truth. the full truth is that Mike is straight and dating Eleven and Will was not straight and he had a crush on Mike. Will had accepted that truth even tho it still hurt sometimes.

El was silent and Will realized that have been sitting there in silence for a good minute. "oh well i'm gonna go back up to my room and work on homework" Will said quickly before getting up and heading to his room were he stayed until his mom got home, then he lied and said he fell and cut his cheek on rock. he ate dinner, took a shower and cleaned up his room a bit since Mike was coming early in the morning and he knew he wouldn't want to pick it up in the morning. he went to bed with one thought on his mind or should he say person.

A/N: OMG THE FIRST CHAPTER IS DONE!! i'm like low key very proud of this chapter and i'm really excited to write the next chapter so yeah. also i hate Wills bullies like they can go choke on a shoe. anygays. i'm attempting to make this as canon as possible but idk so like if you could tell me something to improve this a little more it would be very appreciated. (also yes the byers have a 2 story house in this get over it.) okay biii <3

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