Middle Ground I Bucky barnes & H.Zemo

7

After parking the motorcycle the two got off, heading towards the open gate. Bucky reached for Zemo's hand in silence, interwining their fingers together, trying to keep it cool even with his head spinning around. They walked for a bit, no words needed, until the sokovian made a nod and stopped in a specific spot. A black marble grave was standing in front of them: it was simple, without fancy embellishments, odd enough for an extravagant man as Zemo, with one picture framed at the center of it. It didn't have flowers, it was bare naked, and Bucky noticed the marble had started to crack. 

No one had taken care of it in a long time. It was abandoned. 

Bucky bended forward to observe the image from a closer point of view. The woman in it had a wide smile on her lips, her dress was flowing in the wind as she was holding the hand of a young boy in the middle of an open field. The picture had lost its color over time, but you could still imagine the vivid green of the grass contrasting with her fire-like red hair, or her eyes shining of the brightest blue. On the right another man was holding the child: he was a bit older, but his smile wasn't any less prominent. The boy in the middle looked around nine or ten years of age, Bucky could tell who he resembled the most: that teasing, disobedient look peaking through his eyes was definitely Zemo's.

His attention linged on the engraved names and on their dates of birth and death. One day was all it took for Zemo's family to disappear all of the sudden. 

-Is this why you never call me Bucky?- he pointed at the name carved in the dark stone

-Not entirely, but I suppose it is one of the main reasons- Zemo shrunk in his shoulders -That's how everyone calls you, Steve included, James reminds me...of someone I loved-

A quiet tear gushed out. 

Bucky took the flowers from Zemo's hand and placed them in a bronze jar. He spared a red rose to deposit it on his son's plate. He never knew their names, now he had realized he was sharing his name with the child. 

-He was so full of life, so was she. They were my entire world and when they died, everything I thought I had collapsed. All my plans, my future. I never felt more lost than the moment I found their bodies under the bricks. I refused to delete my wife's voicemail for so long, I couldn't bear the idea of letting her go, I didn't want to accept how she was just gone... so quickly... with the blink of an eye-

Zemo sat on the grave, he was still quietly crying. It was rare to see him showing emotions, Bucky felt privileged to see such a vulnerable side of him.

-So unfair, I held so much grudge inside my heart that it became a stone and before I could realize it I had turned into someone that my wife would despite. Loss...does terrible things to one's soul, to not drift and find comfort in a pit of revenge, it's the hardest way to honour those who are gone - he wiped the tears away with his hand, smiling as Bucky's hand found his shoulder.

-I am so sorry for everything you had to go through. I feel your pain, I know what it's like, it's challenging, to move one without a feeling of disrespect towards the dead-

-Steve is gone, isn't he?-

Bucky took a deep breath, focusing on a small portion of Zemo's neck

-Yes, he passed away a couple of months ago. Almost no one knows, it was quite peacefully, he was happy with his life, so I guess that's all that matters-

Zemo turned around and wrapped his hands around James', inviting him to sit down next to him. Bucky felt the presence of ghosts studying him with invisible eyes.

-Did you love him?- he asked looking directly into his bewitching eyes. He was going to cry too, his pupils had become wider and more lucid.

Bucky swallowed his pride and answered with a clean yes.

The baron nodded, he was expecting such a response, and he didn't know if he was pleased or not.

-You know, regret is a big opportunity to stop living, it traps you in different, multiple realities where you could have acted differently. "What if" is one of the questions the human psyche struggles with the most, alternative outcomes of our memories, it's tempting, but it's nothing more than a fantasy. We must carry on. One action can lead to thousand small consequences, had Steve loved you back who knows what would have happened, if my wife, son and father had gotten out of Sokovia alive we would have never met each other. People's lifes are red strings, constantly interwining, untangling, who's to say what will happen tomorrow? I am in no place to lecture anyone, I had my fair share of sins and burdens, but at least I got a useful lesson out of it-

Bucky was in a state of trance, he had eyes and ears only for Zemo and his words. He had him completely captive.

-Pain and suffering are necessary in life, you can't run from them no matter how hard you try. They shape you, one way or another. That's why hadn't we lost our loved ones we would experience loss and grief nonetheless. Not a day goes by without me missing my family, wishing they were still here with me, or that I would have to courage to join them. However, my dear James, life goes on, and beauty can be found even after a storm. You are my chanche of redemption and I have no intention of losing you-

Zemo untied the necklace around his neck and placed it close to the picture. This was his final goodbye. Bucky reached him and hugged him from behind, tightening his arms around the waist.

-We can find relief and comfort within each other, I believe-

-Yes, I think so- 

From where they were standing they could see the tip of the gold-coated monument peeking through the walls of the cemetery. Bucky had quickly noticed it when they first arrived: it was a tribute to the fallen victims of Sokovia and it was so massive and grand it was impossible to not feel subjected to those stoic figures. Close by was the lake, an enormous hole in the ground filled with artificial water: he knew it wasn't natural because Steve had told him before about the battle, how the heart of Sokovia was ripped apart from the earth to fly in the air. That missing piece was now the lake.

Bucky closed his eyes and relaxed under the mild sun.

-You're one of the most pure people I've ever met James-

He smiled at Zemo's sleek commentary. The man stood in front of him, his tears were now gone, even if a trace was left in the red eyes.

-Trouble suits you only to a certain lenght, when you're peaceful you're one of the most mesmerizing things I've ever laid eyes on. I am very well aware of the iniquity you feel towards yourself, but it's time someone tells you that you have nothing to be sorry for. You don't owe anyone any apologies because the man who did those things wasn't you. You've been hurt, repeatedly, none of that should be pinned on you. As for me, I hope I made my position clear, I will never hurt you again- 

Zemo leaned in to kiss him on the lips 

-Do you trust me?-

-I do-