A LEAP OF FAITH

Sixth Step

Sixth Step

March 30, 2002

10:30 p.m.

Gia

My life has become a comedy.

 

I am pretty sure it's against the rules to keep kissing a man who I just asked to be a friend even though I'm pretending to be his girlfriend to stop him from blurting out that we were, in fact, mere acquaintances who just happened to have ran back into each other under the most unlikely of circumstances. In fact, even if it wasn't against the rules, I’m quite positive it's against my rules. If my mouth wasn't so busy I would probably laugh or moan or laugh and moan at my predicament. 

 

I'm pretty sure it's also against my rules to keep kissing the same man for whom I insist I feel nothing but  actually do feel something, even  though the last thing I need to be doing is feeling something for him when I refuse to even acknowledge it. 

 

Is it still considered denial if I can acknowledge it as denial? 

 

I sneaked a peek at Jung Jin as his eyes widened in surprise when my lips descended on his. Behind me I thought I heard someone clap excitedly. Right. Ji Soo. The reason why I was doing this.

 

It seems as though he didn't notice, though, as his teeth playfully nipped at my bottom lip then licked, before pulling back. He nuzzled my nose with his and I bit back a sigh when his lips traveled to the side of my neck, breathing me in. Again. I tried to stay stiff even as one of his arms wrapped around my waist, bringing me closer to him. Why is it, that even when he's
unable to walk in a straight line, he was still able to do this? And... If he could be like this inebriated, how would be sober? 

 

The thought made me put my hands squarely on his chest to gain some distance, even a small one. His little sister had now pulled up a chair and was watching us with her arms under her
chin. She looked like she could use some popcorn. 

 

Against me Jung Jin suddenly stopped moving and I looked at him only to see him slumped on my shoulder, his weight making me sag from the effort of holding him up.  Unbelievable. I would be angry but for the fact that he looked so peaceful asleep, his lashes lying innocently on his cheeks. He was perfect like this... so gentle, so sweet. My musings were interrupted by a loud snore and I shook my head. Definitely time to put this man to bed. 

 

"Ji Soo," I called out. "Can you just..." Huff. "...help me..." Puff. "...get him to bed?"

 

She quickly stood up and came to my aid, albeit still chuckling. And thank goodness for that, as well. The top of my head barely reached even the lowest part of his neck when he's standing upright. And even now that he's not, he was so... long that I was having a hard time maneuvering his limbs into a position that I could somehow control.  But Ji Soo, only a few inches shorter, had an easier time.  

 

She easily picked up one of his arms and wrapped it around one of her shoulders, grunting. Side by side the similarities on their features were uncanny. I still can't believe I didn't put two and two together as soon as I saw all his sisters since they all looked quite similar. I loosened the arm wrapped around my waist and left it to hang at his side.