A LEAP OF FAITH

Eighth Step

Eighth Step
May 4, 2002
9:30 p.m.

Jung Jin

I watched as Gia blinked at the CD player in frustration, her eyes narrowing at it as if it had done her some grave injustice. She huffed and pressed the power button to shut it off before leaning back on her seat.

Ahead of me the light turned red and I pressed on the brakes before turning to her. "What's wrong?"

"What is this CD? She asked accusingly.

"Greatest Hits of 2001," I said with a small smile. "They're love songs."

She mumbled something under her breath. I caught none of the words except for fuck.
"What did you just say?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"Are you okay?"

I sneaked a glance at her face, which was devoid of any expression. She was trying very hard to appear nonchalant but I could feel her restlessness. Her shoulders were stiff with tension, as was her generous mouth.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Her answer came out tightly. She was lying to me.

I tried to keep my mood up, tried to tell myself that she must just be exhausted. Fatigued. She's had a long day.

She needn't not have worried that my family would not like her. They loved her, as Omma made sure to tell me before we left. As did I.

It's amazing how much freer I felt now that I had admitted it to myself and accepted it. Just as I know my name, I knew to whom my heart belonged.

It wasn't every day that I brought a woman home to one of our family functions. In fact I only ever brought Kelsey and she had not been very receptive to my family. She commented that my 'family was loud, quite unexpected really for such wealthy people,' with barely an attempt to disguise her disdain.

Gia had shown no such reaction. In fact she had reacted quite unexpectedly. Better than I could have ever hoped for.

I already knew that she got on well with my sisters, but she had extended that same warmth with my parents and with the rest of my family as well. Including the children, although it had been tinged with a bit of incredulity for most of her visit. It was that side of her personality that drew me, and the fact that she seemed to have reserved all of her dislike for me alone.

I felt a smile tug at one corner of my lips remembering the first time I met her. I recalled her stern mouth, her intelligent eyes barely hiding her judgment of me. She had stood taller even as I stayed sitting down, as if making herself appear larger, more forceful. She never needed to do that. There had never been in any time in all my dealings with her that I didn't take her seriously.

I felt her look at me without saying one word and I forced myself not to meet her eyes. I lose all train of thought when I look at her, my mind becoming singularly obsessed with touching her, kissing her, holding her... and I needed to think, though there were so many things I needed to think about I scarcely knew where to start, and if now was even the time to do it.

She hadn't spoken in a few days about leaving... perhaps she was changing her mind. It wasn't that I wanted her in Korea permanently; I was certain that if she went back to America that I would do my best to make this work anyway, if that was what she wanted. All she needed to do was say the word and I'm in. All in.

Because unlike Joon I am not a patient man. I refuse to do the unreciprocated love thing for any length of time. I had always fought to win, and if defeat was imminent, I knew to cut my losses and throw in the towel.