Sun Arises || YOSHIBIN (On-hold)

03

TIRING

I was playing the guitar tirelessly, putting my every single energy that will surely turn in to waste.

I hated how I hated this thing I used to love but keeping on doing it because I don't know how to stop.
I placed my guitar on the sofa and rested my body beside it.

If Ben is here, I would probably sitting here with him, hearing him complement how I played this guitar with coolness. Probably he would be here scolding me to stop torturing my guitar and my fingers. He would probably make a snacks to eat with me. He would probably sing the choruses of the melodies I am playing. He would probably be here joining me no matter how boring I can be.

But no. He's not here. He got tired. I got him tired of me.

"Have you eaten already?" I got distracted from tuning my guitar when I heard Ben. He was closing the door. I am here at the music room of our school. This is always been my favorite place.

A smile automatically formed on my face the moment my eyes laid on the paper bag Ben's holding.

Surely, he made a snack for me. No doubt he is always been so thoughtful.

"No I haven't, do you have food for me?" I asked while pointing the bag he is holding. I pouted like a baby and wiggled my shoulder.

I saw how Ben shook his head and plastered his gummy smile. His smile is always been so unique. It was like a sunrise's vibe. Refreshing. It was like giving you an assurance that it will arrive every day after your darkest night.
That after a dark moment, the approaching dawn he will arrive like a peaceful sunrise.
My sunrise.

I will always love hearing him chuckled.

"Obviously , I won't let you starve since you're always neglecting your growling tummy," he said as he sat beside me.

He got my guitar from me and placed it on the table. He also prepared the food on the table.

I was only observing him. He is always like this. He never fails to give me all his care and attention. He is always spoiling me, and I am all spoiled-I want it forever.

He fixed his glasses with his index finger pulling it up from the bridge of his nose. Ben is smart, he loves reading studying, taking care of me and he loves me.

I smiled with my own thoughts.

" Aren't you tired, Love?" I said almost a whisper.

He titled his head to face me.

"At school? Yes. But after that, I will surely see you. And with you. I am never tired."

His statement always shout assurance. His statement is always mine to treasure. I love him. And like how he is never tired. I will never get tired of him.

I went out of my unit and went to the studio.
We badly needed to release a good song. Our debut is approaching, Hyunsuk already made his song and I have to contribute mine.

The memories of me Ben came into my mind.
The memories that always hunting me every night. The memories I always beg to change.

That what I alsl made so many efforts just how he did to be. That what if I also made to many sweet things and shower him the love I have for him. Maybe if I did that, I won't get him tired.

Maybe if I not so selfish, I still have him here.
That he will never live...

To be continued...