Sun Arises || YOSHIBIN (On-hold)

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SUNRISE

I was sitting on my table on the small apartment I rented four years ago.
My hot tears are slowly flowing endlessly. I can't stop thinking what the hell is wrong with me. I started doubting that is it even worth it? Pursuing this Music, is it even worth it? Does it even make sense? How come something I love turns out to be the reason of loosing Someone I badly needed, someone I badly want and someone I can't picture my life worth living without?

My fingers are playing with the ring I was about to give him that symbolises that I am willing to give everything up to be him.
But damn i am now resting my head on the table, letting my tears flow and slowly loosing every bit of energy to keep on going.

Because without him? This life is meaningless. Now I am slowly hating music. F ck this music. F ck everything!

I threw my lamp on the wall where our picture hanging. I badly wanna punch someone or something. I badly wanna hurt myself. I am so exhausted, I am so broken. I don't wanna see the the sun rise again when he's not beside me anymore.

I miss you, Ben. Please comeback, Ben.

"Ben...where did we go wrong?"

I stared at the ring where his name is engraved.
My fingers is tracing every single letter completing the word which is his name.
Ben, for Pete's Sake comeback.

I took a deep breath and grabbed my phone, I dialed his number.
I closed my eyes while my hands is trembling.
It rang and rangs but there's no Ben answered.

I tried to call again but still no one answered.

"Please answer, Ben."

I attempted so many times but no one answered and that when my phone gave up.

Ben, how can you leave me right now? Why is it so easy to walk away? Do you love me no more? Are you tired dealing with me? Am I giving you a hard time? Ben, comeback. Comeback and I promise, I swear that I'll spend ever single second being with you.
Ben, please tell me that you just want a time to think but you're now leaving me for good. Ben, please comeback.
I don't think I can still be happy, I don't think I can be happy knowing you're not beside me anymore.

I'm so sorry, Ben. Please comeback...

To be continued...