God-Complexed Love

Alone

A/N: hey this is gonna be a quick chapter just while you wait cause I'm really slow with updates, sorry!! Also remeber, Part 1 is set in the late 1800s, so any hatred or men sterotypes were normal then.

I dragged my feet as I walked home. Fighting tears, I slowly began hating myself more for being so emotional like a woman, men weren't supposed to cry... Yet here I am feeling useless and broken because of a few little words... Very hurtful words. Clouds quickly shrouded over, and a stormed began, with loud claps of thunder, and sharp strikes of lightning all mixing in with the harsh rain smashing into the ground. I sighed, and sped up my pace, though it was slightly futile as the walk was about 20 minutes. I glanced around me, a few meters ahead was a big house, out of instinct, I ran towards it.

As I got closer, I soon realised just whose mansion it was, with Mr Joestar stood in the doorway and Danny coming charging at me. I fall over into the mud, and Danny sat licking my face. Laugh as I try to push him of, both of us getting drenched in a mix of sticky mud and rain. Mr Joestar came running over, "Dear Lord Y/N! Are you okay, what are you doing wondering about in the rain? Come inside!" he frantics about, pulling Danny off me and helping me up, "No, No it's fine Mr Joestar, I have to be on my way home" I said, trying to be as polite as possible. He refuses to let you leave and dragges you and Danny inside, one of the maids takes Danny away for a bath, and I stamd awkwardly by the door. "I'm sure JoJo will be happy to hear your staying round for the night?" George laughs. I shake my head and droop it. He gives a sad look, going to speak before deciding not to. One of the maids comes and says the bath is ready and signals for me to go with her. I follow, looking her flawless skin, tears well up, as I know that I could never date a beautiful woman as her. I lower my head amd watch her feet as I silently cry, we get to the bath room and she leaves me. I begin taking of my shirt, and I look in the mirror, staring amd clean, soft skin on my thin body. I sigh and turn away. I'm about to take my trousers off when I hear a knock at the door. The door is opened and... Dio walks in? He thanks someone at the door before turning to me, clothes in hand, "That damn JoJo wouldn't open the door, here take it." he says, slightly annoyed. I inch forward slightly, bowing in appreciation amd taking them carefully. He stares slightly, before smirking, "Where's all the venom and attitude you had earlier?" I sigh, "Doesn't matter, can you get out!" He chuckles, walking out pridefully. I shake my head finishing undressing myself and dipping into the warm bath. I sink in and lay there, staring at the ceiling. Everything rushing to me. Coming to the realisation that I've probably lost my only friend... All because I can't hide my emotions. I shake my head, and just focus on enjoying my bath.
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Once I'd finished my bath, I put on the clothes Dio gave me, they were slightly to big, sighing I put my clothes in the basket and walked down stairr to the library, passing Mr Joestar, he stops me, "Hey wait, I noticed something was up, what's wrong?" he gives a gentle smile. I panic, 'I couldn't tell him, and if I told him that me and JoJo got in a argument, he'd ask why, or to try and resolve it. What do I say?' I sigh, "I'm fine, just over thinking somethings" I give a small smile back, he pats my shoulder, his old, worn eyes saying to tell him the truth when I ready, I nodded and headed off to the library.

I sat down, in my usual seat, grabbing the book I use to vent, some ink and a quill and began writing:

I'm a boy... I'm a boy who is attracted to boys. And that's enough for me to have a death sentence? That's enough to loose everyone, that's enough to want to end my-

Someone walks in and I flick my head up, it was JoJo. I sigh and go back to scribbling my thoughts. He sighs, walking around, scanning the books. After a few minutes he leaves, without a word being spoken between us. I drop the quill in the ink, push the book away and slam my head on the table. "Wow... Amazing" someone sarcastically claps. I flick my head up and scrunch my face up, "What? Are you just stalking me now?" I growl. He laughs, "Me? Stalk someone of your kind, dream on!" I shake my head, "What do you want." I snap, keep a harsh low voice. He grabs your book, "This. I've been reading this, it's an interesting book." he responds, very monotone. I jump to to try amd grab it but he raises his arm, being taller than me by an inch or two. I sigh, "Dio. Give it back." He chuckles, "No. My fellow lad, I want to read it." I widened my eyes, shakingy head rambling and desperately trying to grab it, but he just held it up and silently read it. He pauses and turns to me throwing the book back and leaving. I was done for. I throw the book on the table and chase after him, but he'd disappeared.

I drop to my knees, 'fuck, fuck fuck... I'm dead. He's gonna tell Mr Joestar, I'm gonna be hung... Fuck.' I grab my head in desperation amd begin shaking, I got up and ran to the guest bedroom, dropping back down to the floor. 'Don't cry. Your a man, you shouldn't be crying, stop being such a woman. Stop it. Your a diseased child, get over it. Everyone gets ill, just try to fix yourself...' I got so lost in thoughts, that hours passed by before I calmed down. I look outside, the rain had stopped. I ran to the draw and pulled out a carriage clock, it was 2am. I sighed, thinking what to do. I was to anxious to sleep... I couldn't stay, I had to go home. I snuck out my room, no maids were on night today thankfully, I quietly slid down the banister for the stairs and ran to put my shoes on, knew leaving meant I was going to be alone, but I had no choice, Dio knew, JoJo knew, Mr Joestar probably knew by now, I was done for. I finishes putting my shoes on and ran.
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While I was walking home, I was quite enjoying the night time, it still had that lingering smell of rain, but a warm and gentle breeze flowed through the late summer morning. I walked on the stone path, currently in the middle of nowhere, no houses, no stalls, just open space. I stop, and breathed. This is what my life will be like, alone in a wide open space, stuck in the dark, with the pale moonlight being my only guidance, being the only light to flood my eyes. I feel anger well up inside me, is this how I have to live, all because of my sexual preference... "FUUUCK!" I screamed and began running out of anger, out of sadness, out of fear. Just to get home, to be somewhere safe, just to get a hug off my loving mother.
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But that wasn't meant to be... My house gone... Singed pieces of wood layed, still slightly burning. The smell of smoke and burnt flesh lingered, I fell to my knees once again, wide eyed... "H-How-" I was truly destined to be alone... Forever.