i miss the rain // dnf

sunder

I sit up from staring at my ceiling when I hear my cell door being unlocked. I furrow my eyebrows, knowing that it's not for me to go see George. I haven seen George in two weeks because we fought the last time he was here and he said he wouldn't come see me until my trial.

"I can't help that they don't have a lawyer for me yet, George! I have no control over it!!" I yell,  grabbing a fist full of my hair with each hand, tugging on it out of frustration. I look down at the table, tears in my eyes at the helplessness that is overwhelming me. George is pacing back and forth, ranting about how I'm still stuck in here and not doing anything to get out.

"Well you should! You know how bad this makes things between us? I can't believe you would do this. You messed us up." George bites back. My heart falls into the pit of my stomach, allowing the tears to release themselves. 

"George... I don't know what I did. I can't stress that enough." I mumble through my tears, wiping my nose with the sleeve of my undershirt. I actually can't remember what happened other than what I did after I found myself in a hotel room. 

"Well, Dream. I don't know what good I'll do by being here." He sighs, stopping behind his chair.

"I mean you can support me by coming to visit me..." I mumble, hoping this wouldn't be the last time I see him. 

"I don't know how I can support you when there's nothing much to support. There hasn't been a trial and you don't have a lawyer. What am I supposed to do? Come here and tell you the same thing?" George sits back down in his chair in front of me. I look up at him, tears running down my cheeks. His arms are crossed over his chest and he's leaning back in his chair. I look at him pleadingly, hoping he would still come visit to make the days in here less awful.

"George...please." I beg, wanting him to stay longer or at least show up tomorrow.

"I can't, Dream. It's taking a lot out of me and Sapnap is still upset with you and is upset that I keep seeing you."

The door opens, showing the same cop waving for me to follow him. He didn't have handcuffs this time. Maybe he got tired of seeing me in handcuffs?

"Lawyer's here." He says as we walk to the visitation rooms. I go into the same one I normally go into when I visit George. When I walk in, I see a lady in a pantsuit, sitting at the table with a few folders. I sit down at the table nervously. I'm nervous because she has a lot of papers with her. What if I actually did do it and that's all the proof? I hear the room door shut and the brunette in front of me looks up at me with a smile.

"It looks like it's your lucky day." She grins more, holding out her hand. I take it and shake her hand. "I'm Mia. I'm your lawyer. What name would you prefer to go by?"

"Dream." I say quietly, my nerves still coursing through my whole body. She opens a folder and I see a photo of an alleyway by the gas station I remember last being at.

"So, Dream. It looks really good for you, I promise. I'm not just saying that because I'm a lawyer wanting to get paid. I've been looking through all the evidence on your file as soon as I knew I had your case. I'm sorry I couldn't be here earlier, I had a family emergency right after my holiday break, which delayed me getting back to my job." She flips through pages in the folder, grabbing a few and laying them out in front of me. "We are going to get you out of here, I promise." She looks at me, grabbing my hand that is on the table out of concern for me. I look up at her from the papers, her gentle smile and concerned eyes almost seeming to know what I've been going through with George and Sapnap. "First of all, what do you remember from that night? Just tell me what you remember, it's okay if it's broken up." I take in a deep breath as she moves her hand back to her papers, flipping through more.

"So...I remember my car breaking down at a gas station and I didn't know what else to do but to walk home. So I started walking home. Next thing I know I'm in a random hotel room, covered in blood from head to toe with a knife in my hand just sitting on the bed. I tried cleaning up and then the cops showed up. I don't remember anything between those two events. I think I blacked out, which scares me." I confess, swallowing hard to get the knot out of my throat. 

"Okay, so this was the gas station you were at, right? This is you?" She points to a photo from security camera footage of the gas station. And there I was, in front of the building, banging on the hood of my car out of frustration. The time is two hours before the cops got to me. I nod.

"Yep. That's me and my shitty car." I sigh, wishing I would have gotten a nicer car sooner. She nods.

"Okay that's good. So then, there's a store right next to the alley that the murder happened and there's footage from what happened. The footage shows you walking in the alley as the victim was stabbed by someone else." She continues. I furrow my eyebrows, getting angry.

"Then why the fuck am I still in here if this is solid evidence I didn't do it?!" I almost scream, completely angry. She puts her hand on my forearm.

"Hey, calm down, it's okay." She pauses and I take a deep breath. "The reason they kept you is because you were covered in blood and your fingerprints were all over the knife. They had to do twists and turns to get this footage from the store. Trust me, if they knew sooner, they would have done something sooner. They still want you to go to trial in front of the family, but you need to identify those who were actually part of the murder. You saw them." She assures me. I take in a deep breath. I just want to go home, fix all of this between George, Sapnap, and I. I can't stand to be in here anymore. I miss George. I miss his touch.

"When can I go home?" I ask quietly. She looks at me sadly.

"Unfortunately not until you're proven innocent by a jury. It's a murder trial. It shouldn't be hard, we will just go over everything that happened in that security footage from the alley so then you can get your story straight, since you don't remember much from blacking out. It'll match the video the jury will watch and they'll easily say you're not guilty." She explains to me. I just nod, tears prickling my eyes as she continues to show me all the evidence that shows I'm innocent and explains how I can add these elements to my broken story. I hope that when I call George, he'll believe me and visit me again. Maybe he'll apologize and forgive me.

Maybe he still loves me.